Service Based Business Society Podcast

Season: 2
Episode: 2
Title:Maximum Impact: Minimal Time

Pop society podcast. I'm your host, Tiffany-Ann- Bottcher. At our weekly episodes we will take into everything you need to know about scaling your service based business without losing sleep. With my experience in creating over seven figures per month, and a passion for marketing, finance and automation, this show will provide tangible tips and techniques for scaling your business. Let's get started.

Tiffany:
Hey guys, welcome back. Today we have a very special guest on the podcast, we will be chatting with Elle Hart. Now is an empowerment coach who teaches how to utilize specific traits that show up as your strengths so that you can lead with those gifts in all areas of your life. This helps replace frustration with appreciation and ultimately helps you feel empowered in your everyday life. I can't wait to share this interview. Let's dive in. Hey, Elle. Welcome, and welcome.

Elle
Thank you. So good to be here.

Tiffany:
Super exciting. First guests season two. Yay. Yeah, so I opened up the calendar. And I'm super excited about all the different people that we have on the show this season coming up. But one of the things that stuck out for me when I was looking at your stuff was these four words. And it was maximum impact, minimal time. And so this really such a powerful statement, maximum impact, minimal time. And you know, I just dropped out and I was like, Oh, my goodness, we need to get her on the podcast right away.

Elle:
Thank you, yes, they have helped me for sure. We need to be able to show up as ourselves. And that's your maximum impact. And the minimal amount of time is that I don't take a million sessions to get you there. So I can help you figure out who you are and how you do things best in one or two sessions. And that's it.

Tiffany:
And that's incredible, because I feel like a lot of different times, Have you ever been to the chiropractor, like the traditional chiropractor?

Elle:
Yes.

Tiffany:
I may have this map that is like, you're going to start now. And you're going to come like three days a week. And then you're gonna come three days a week and three days a week. And then we're gonna get you down to two days a week. And then one and you're like, Oh, my goodness, this is like the never, never plan. And you're like, Oh, yes, you're a lifer. Now, that's a little overwhelming.

Elle:
Right?

Tiffany:
So why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about what you do? Introduce yourself and your business.

Elle:
Thank you. So what I do ultimately, is I help people feel stronger about themselves. And when you feel stronger about yourself, you can relate better to other people around you. So it helps you drop expectations. And when I call live in expectations. So, I was a stay at home mom for 25 years, I went straight while in college, got married and started my family. And I morphed right into all of them, which was fine at the time. But I never really developed a strong sense of myself. And I didn't have one as a teenager. So it was, I think, a very subconscious and probably conscious decision of mind to just be in the shotgun in my life, instead of being in the driver's seat of my life. And I found myself at the 25 year mark. After raising three boys. My last one was about to go off to college, I was divorcing and empty nesting in the same year. So all of a sudden, I went from everything involving everybody else to Well, wait a minute, it's just me. And that was really scary. Because I didn't know what that looked like.

Tiffany:
I can imagine that that would be just a strange feeling. I have three kids and the thought of my littlest going off to college. He's just starting preschool this year. And that was a big enough shift. As you know, that was like off to college. It makes me so sad even just to think about my kids growing up and trying to go off and do their own things. I always say like, I want them to stay little forever. And my middle son, he is not the tallest and he wishes he were taller. And a long time ago, I started joking that I put a brick on his head while he was sleeping because I wanted him to stay little forever. And now he thinks I'm serious. And now he thinks it's my fault. But are you sure? Yeah. So I can only imagine a major life shift there. So how did you go from this kind of like, oh my goodness, realization that you didn't really have an identity just yourself? Like who are you as you know, not as a mom of three kids. I mean, you'll always be a mom of three kids, but not the day to day not that, you know, it's yeah.

Elle:
It's different when they're older. For sure. It's harder actually when they're older, but it's different to so I knew I couldn't stay where I was because I didn't want to keep living in I knew I wouldn't grow. And I didn't want to keep living in that same situation, because I felt like that would be keeping myself backwards instead of moving forward. So I literally opened up a map. And where do I fit in this world? Where do I belong, because my kids weren't yet settled where they were going to be. So I couldn't just naturally gravitate towards one of them. And I was in Chicago at the time. That's where I raised my kids. And I decided to move to California. And I didn't know anybody there. My youngest son was attending San Diego State. But I moved to North County, so I was a ways away from him. And he needed to do his own college thing. So I was not going to be with him. I didn't see him a whole lot, especially in the beginning. So I just pared down, my house sold, most of my belongings packed up what I had hired somebody to drive my stuff and my dog out there, because I knew if I drove, I would get scared. And at some point, I would turn around and never complete. So I got a one way flight to San Diego and started life there. And I went with two mantras in mind. One was live in the moment, I had to let go of the past and heal from it. And I needed to not worry too much about what tomorrow was going to look like so that I could continue to move forward without the anxiety of the unknown. So live in the moment and enjoy that and drop expectations. I learned that we needed to come from a place of respect and appreciation rather than expectations. When we place expectations on ourselves and other people, we just set ourselves up for disappointment. So I went there with those two things in mind. And I was terrified, but liberated at the same time. And when I was there, I needed to find my first full time job, I did everything for the first time, I felt like I was 23 at the age of 46. Because I was living alone. For the first time, I was picking out my own stuff for the first time, like everything, I got my first full time job. And I worked at a school, it was a middle school, I was really connecting with the kids there. I first started out as security, kind of making sure everybody was behaving. And then my second position there was in instructional aids. So I was in the classroom with the kids. And I was really blown away by the amount of anxiety that these kiddos were experiencing. And this was pre pre-pandemic event. And they really resonated and found a way to connect with me, they asked to step outside so that we could talk about things, they opened up and shared their issues with me. And I didn't get involved in their drama. But I felt like I did a good job of giving them some practical tools and advice on how to have control over themselves when they feel like they don't have control over anything else. So that led me to realize that, hey, this is what I actually want to do. And funny enough, when I was in high school, I was getting ready to go away to college and I told my high school counselor, I'm going to study psychology, so that I could be a high school counselor and he completely talked me out of it. And I was so impressionable. I allowed him to know I came full circle.

Tiffany:
And so what did you take in college? What did you end up taking?

Elle:
I started out in psychology, but then when it got tough his words, went into my head and reminded me and I'm like, okay, maybe he's right, this isn't for me. So I ended up changing my major like five times, I even created my own major at one point. And I finally landed, just through coming across some classes in communication degree, and I absolutely loved it, especially the interpersonal connection with communication.

Tiffany:
So still very relieved, but still very useful for what you're doing just, you know, a different angle. I did one psychology course in my undergraduate degree. It was an elective, I remember and it was so different. It was like in a different part of the school than where I was going. And their professor was so different. He was always like, Oh, he seemed like he was totally like a beach bomb surfer, like barely knew what time it was. It was super interesting. I remember, it was basically a lot of like argument patterns and different things. It was super interesting. But yeah, it was definitely unlike anything else. The electives you take in school. It's interesting, because, like you said, you know, you find something else that you kind of fall into that you're like, hey, this is super interesting.

Elle:
Right? Yeah, exactly.

Tiffany:
Now you're in California, and you found this new passion. And so did you keep working in the school or did you shift right away? Like all into your business.

Elle?
what I did was, I started studying emotional intelligence because I realized that that was probably the best path for me to do the work that I wanted to do, I didn't want to go into therapy, I didn't want to go into counseling, I just wanted to be able to offer more practical tools on yourself. So I studied emotional intelligence, and I became a certified practitioner. And that while I was doing that, when I first landed in California, I, of course, was trying to figure me out. And I was taking all kinds of quizzes and assessments and who you are, and things like that. And one of them I took was the Clifton Strengths Assessment. And I got the results. And they were interesting, but I didn't have a huge impact from it. Well, while I was in the midst of doing my emotional intelligence work, I also came across a Clifton Strengths coach who provided such an amazing take on the strengths and how they really apply to who you are in your life and just brought them to life for me and shined such a light on them. So I dug my results back out, and I dove into them with a different perspective. And I started studying everything that he put out there, his name is Eddie via and he created unleash your strengths. And it is a phenomenal program, if you're interested in really doing a deep dive and learning them. I studied like crazy under him. And I thought this is the perfect foundation for self awareness. Because I think that's probably one of the caveats that we get caught up in when we're trying to help somebody else is, what does that self awareness look like for you, I can put all of my things are new as to how I think it looks. But I don't really know. Even with 20 sessions of chatting with each other, it's difficult to get to that point. So when you take the Clifton Strengths Assessment, it ranks 34 traits everybody possesses, but they show up uniquely for you. There'll be unlike anyone else on the planet, how the 34 traits, the ranking of them comes back. So there's your self awareness right there, I focus on your top 10. And that's your sweet spot and how you do things best. And then we also really focus on your bottom five, because that's where you go when you start doubting yourself when you start thinking you should be more like other people. So I joined those two together. And my thought process was, I was going to do an after school club for the kids and call it feel empowered every day. And then the pandemic hit, and school closed down. Oh, there was no after school club.

Tiffany:
Right, right. So time to do that big COVID Word of pivot. So you make a change. I laugh because it's like the business COVID pivot?

Elle:
Yes, absolutely.

Tiffany:
So I'm sure that you are at this point, kind of at the master of change, did you start to feel a little bit like, Oh, my goodness, I don't know if I'm gonna win. I mean, COVID hit everybody differently. But was it tough to kind of think, Oh, my goodness, now I have a plan, I'm kind of settling into this life, I have a plan. And then problem.

Elle:
It didn't actually give me more of an opportunity to open up and explore this a little bit more rather than again, staying in that safety net of this is what this job looks like. Because zoom school was really difficult to do. There was virtually no connection with the kids. And that's what I did the best when I was at school was connect with them. And so it like think, okay, I need to explore this. I've always had, even when I was home with my kids, I've always had entrepreneurial desires. And I started several different like Hobby businesses, I don't always do so good with following everybody else's rules. I like to create things and put my own spin on things. And each classroom with the teacher needs to do things their way, which is understandable. So this allowed me that chance to put my own spin on how I wanted to help the kids. And that's where I started. And then I quickly realized that helping teenagers is great understanding themselves better, but we really need to pull the parents into that piece too. Because if they keep treating them the same way, then we're just putting forces, you know, against each other and then possibly creating more conflict. So then I pivoted again and thought, Okay, I'm going to work on a relational level, then how would that look? So I take two people's strengths assessments. I go through all 34 traits side by side comparison, and I say okay, you have communication at number three, and you have it at 26 This is what it means for the two of you in terms of communication. And I do that for all 34 of the traits. And that helps realize not only how you do things best in where you shine, but Oh, wow, somebody else, maybe especially my kid, because a lot of times we think our children are little molds and are supposed to do things as we want them to or like we do. And we realize quickly that oh, okay, I have these traits. Hi, but they don't they come at things better this way. And boy, do I wish I would have had that information when my boys were younger, we can say, saved a lot of grief around my house, for sure.

Tiffany:
Absolutely. I think that parenting overall can teach you so much. I feel like I learned more from my kids every day than I teach them about all sorts of seeing the world through their eyes and whatnot, and their perspective and how they react to situations or how they react in ways that you wish you think, Oh, I shouldn't react that way. But they give a more, you know, like out of the mouths of babes as they say, right? They it's that very authentic response to situations. And so yeah, definitely parenting is a journey on its own.

Elle:
Right, absolutely.

Tiffany:
So when you're looking at these characteristics and stuff, so you were started with kids and teens and whatnot, and then you move to this couple's direction? were you seeing certain characteristics, often that were like a trend among certain people that were seeing success with you? Like, do you work well with a certain group of characteristics, or were they really kind of very.

Elle:
I love the fact that they're all different. So what I do is always the same, I take you through the Clifton Strengths Assessment, we go through the results. And then we decide from there how to build the emotional intelligence framework that again, I put my own spin on emotional intelligence. So I came up with self awareness, self understanding, self acceptance. So we become aware of ourselves through the traits and how they show up for us. What we do together, deep diving into them gives you that understanding. And then you learn to accept those things about yourself, which I find is really difficult sometimes for a lot of people I've had people say, but the strings that showed up at the top for me are the good ones. And I'm like, one some bad ones. It's just, what Wait a minute, I don't really like this about myself, how can that be a strength, then? Well, because you're looking at it this way, we don't look at ourselves through a clear lens, we look at ourselves through a very foggy lens of judgments and previous experiences and everybody else's opinions and all of that. So I tried to wipe away that fog and give you more of a clear lens as to what this looks like for you. And once that happens, then the light bulbs go off. And it's like, oh, now I see that actually is positive. And yes, I do do that all the time. But I didn't realize that that was something that I should lean into and think that's good about me, we tend to minimize our attributes and think that they're just common, then the flip side of that quite often is we think our problems are so unique. And actually the opposite. You know, we're very unique, our attributes are unique, our gifts are unique just to us and the way we show up in the world. And most of us are dealing with pretty similar problems, at least to an extent.

Tiffany:
It's interesting, because I think the things that you are most gifted at don't think are difficult. It's like this balance of you know, you do it so naturally, but then you assume that other people know those same things or that they are that same way. And then you don't necessarily know that that is something that you don't think about, as you know, your gift you're searching for know what is it because you don't necessarily even realize that you already know it, you already have it.

Elle:
And that gives you frustration that other people don't show up that same way than to you know how many times you find yourself saying I can't believe they don't, you know, or I can't believe this person wouldn't do it like this, you know, it's like, Well, it's because they're coming through their trades. And a lot of times we come through our bottom trades just as often as our top ones. That's why it's super important to understand those two, you know, I didn't know it at the time, but context is low for me which context is the trait that represents sort of history and the past and having a really strong desire and doing things the way that they've always been done. And that's low for me, I don't go into good place when I hang on to the past. And here one of my mantras when I moved was I needed to let go of the past and I knew I had to leave, even to grow. And I somewhere in there. I understood that about myself, but I didn't realize how and why and now having a better understanding of my traits and showing up the way they do. I have the language and the vocabulary to have a better understanding of them. And now I've learned to accept them about myself and And then we go to that next level, which is self embracement. So not only do you accept them, but you learn to love them, learn to love the bottom traits learn to love the top ones, learn to look out for them. And then we go into self management. And that's when other people, you know, how we show up in the world to other people, how we respond to the way other people are showing up, and how we manage our thoughts, our emotions and our behaviors. And that leads us into self empowerment, then. So empowerment is huge for me, because I felt like I spent so many years on the pendulum swinging back and forth between powerless, and sometimes that was by choice. And sometimes that was by coercion, where I felt powerless. And then you try to overcompensate, and you try to become too powerful. And then you control everybody around you. Neither one of those serve you well. So when you're in that empowerment, sweet spot in the middle, that's where you feel like you have complete control over yourself. And that's all you're meant to have control over.

Tiffany:
You know, it's interesting, because I think in general business life relationships, that pendulum swing is often quite dangerous, when you get too far one way, and then overcorrect. Like, it reminds me of trying to drive a car on video games, you know, when you're like, Oh, I'm hitting the wall, and I'm hitting the wall and the wall on the wall. And then my kids jump on. And it's like, Whoa, there, that's how you do it. But it's that pendulum swing. And I was recently on a call with a client actually, and they were dealing with a business issue. And again, that pendulum swing back the other way was, you know, I'm just going to control I'm just going to clamp down on the control, you know, the conversation I had had that really seemed to resonate with this client was, if you think of it kind of like a past relationship, if you have a previous partner that the relationship has gone sour, and you bring all of that into your new relationship, and you're acting and you're treating that person, that same way, I said, you know, it spoils that next relationship, you have to that the new relationship means a clean slate, right, it was that moment of like, Oh, I was like that seemed to really click, as you know, not bringing that I think in life, most people have made a mistake somewhere where you've brought something you know, and you're like, oh, sorry, that wasn't you who broke the trust, or that wasn't you who, you know, did this and you're kind of jumping already assuming the worst. And so really, that clean slate, no matter what it is, whether that's business, whether that's movement, like whatever that clean slate is, that's a tough challenge.

Elle:
Right. And everything in life has a relationship to so you know, you've got the personnel in the family dynamic, and all of that, but then everything with work. So it's not only the relationship with your co workers, or your clients, or whatever it might be, it's your relationship with time, it's your relationship with marketing, and what you need to do to show up in the world, you know, through your business lens, it's your relationship with, even when you're driving the relationship with the other cars out on the road, you know, everything in life is based on relationships. So when you feel more strong about yourself, and you understand yourself better, you can show up more authentically for those around you. And then again, reduce those expectations. And like you said, you know, harboring old feelings for something in the business sector, with your clients, or other coaches, you know, whoever you might be dealing with, to let that go and have that clean slate that knowing your strengths helps you do that.

Tiffany:
Yes. So when you just like you said, it's so many different things, you know, we often see it, you know, when we're setting up, our agency does a lot of like system setup processes and things and so will be, you know, 90% done something and then it's like, well, what if and it's this issue that happened one time five years ago, and you know, we always say like, you have to build for what happens most often. And then, you know, look at these outliers, but you can't build to every single outlier because it just doesn't work. You know, it's how many times did this issue happen? Is this a repeat problem? Did it happen just one time and we can't recreate the problem? And so that's kind of this balance? You know, it all comes not too far. The pendulum swings. It's really something to be mindful of.

Elle:
Yes, yeah, absolutely.

Tiffany:
So in terms of tangible tips, we always finish the episode off with a tangible tip that someone can implement in their business right away or in their life. And what is that recommendation for you?

Elle:
If you happen to know your strengths, your number five is your compass. So if you go off track, you can lean into your number five, you just need to really remember and have a deep understanding of that one in particular, and that will help pull you back up into your top strengths. If you don't know what your actual strengths are, and then just really paying attention to what makes you feel good when you're doing it. If you're doubting yourself or you're feeling stressed by something, you're probably coming at it From what one of the bottom strengths and so many of us think that we should be more like someone or something else, are you trying to emulate somebody else that you saw or even take on personal development? You know, even with that, I tell people pull the nuggets out that work for you and leave the rest for other people, because personal development is amazing. And so many of the gurus out there have such fabulous advice, but it doesn't all apply necessarily to you. So really, it's yourself and what feels good and follow that.

Tiffany:
Absolutely, that is so true. And a lot of times, you know, you lean in on one particular thing, I talked in an episode on Season One of the podcast with Marissa when she was here, and we were talking about the Sheryl Sandberg book and how, you know, I said, it's, you know, lean in is the name of the book. And it was great. I truly enjoyed it. But there was a couple of things I really disagreed with, right. And at the time, you know, I thought I kind of thought, oh, this, you know, and made a joke on that episode about kind of what does she know, but versus said, yeah, no, I agree with you. And in that moment, kind of was like, hey, like, it's not all or nothing, right? There's not only one way, and it is just pulling out those pieces. And that's why there is so many talented people, because everyone comes at things from a different angle or a different perspective, just like when you were, you know, mentioning that you had already taken this assessment and didn't necessarily put as much, you know, thought or weight or understanding to it. And you know, you bring in some additional new information, and suddenly, it's really impacted your entire life.

Elle:
Oh, completely? Yes, yes, absolutely. And it's so fulfilling and rewarding when I'm working with somebody, whether it be a teenager, or it's a woman in business for herself, who hasn't even realized that maybe she doesn't fully understand herself, the way that she could, and listening to that conversation and having those aha moments happen. And nothing feels better than that brings me back to those feelings when you're raising your kids and, you know, actually say or do something that's really helpful to them. Now, I just get to expand that further than my own family circle.

Tiffany:
What an incredible journey. So if someone's saying, hey, I need more of this, I want to figure out, you know, strength and all of these different attributes, where can they connect with you? What does that process look like?

Elle:
Yeah, so they can jump on my website, which is feelempowered everyday.com. And just reach out to me through that. And we can get the ball rolling. I'm also on Instagram, if you want to learn a little bit more. I also just recently published a book. And it's in a bullet journal form. So I was able to teach this feel empowered everyday class to middle schoolers before I left that school, but we went back to in person. And in that class, I noticed that a lot of the students were taking notes with bullet journaling. So they were making them very creative and doing a lot of doodling and lots of different colors. And just quick short notes. And I know everybody's attention span is like this long these days. So I'm gonna try to write a full book going on and on about things. So it literally is like bullet point style. It's very interactive. So there's takeaway things that you can start practicing on your own at home, whether you know your strengths or not, it doesn't matter. And it's interactive. And there's things to do right there in the book itself. So you can find that on Amazon, and it's the feel empowered ever Tiffany Bullet Journal.

Tiffany:
Fantastic. I will be sure to link your website as well as the book in the show notes as well. I think there's so much value in knowing your strengths and being able to use those to your benefit really leaning into your strengths.

Elle:
Yes, absolutely. I know. It's changed my world completely.

Tiffany:
Sounds like it. What an incredible journey. Very inspiring. Thank you so much for being here today.

Elle:
Absolutely. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Tiffany:
Well, we are all out of time for today. If you guys have not joined the service based business society, or Facebook community, make sure you head on over to Facebook and we can continue the conversation. Be sure to also follow the show by going to any podcast app and searching surface-based business society. Click subscribe, click the fifth star, and leave us a written review. Have a great week and we will see you soon.