Service Based Business Society Podcast

Season: 2
Episode: 15
Title: The discomfort episode

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Hello, and welcome to the service based business society podcast. I'm your host, Tiffany-Ann-Bottcher, our weekly episodes, we will dig into everything you need to know about scaling your service based business without losing sleep. With my experience in creating over seven figures per month, and a passion for marketing, finance and automation, this show provides tangible tips and techniques for scaling your business. Let's get started.

Back to another episode this week, I have a few different things in mind. But I'm gonna dive right in. And we're just gonna chat about the fact that if you have heard about this Blue Monday piece, I had heard about this a few years ago and forgot all about it. And then just this last week, I started seeing some different things on social media. And basically the thought is, you know, the first big Monday, I believe it's after credit card statements are going out after Christmas. And you know, really January starts off with such a huge push of Let's do everything amazing. I often talk about it for the last few years, you know, at like 20 going back five or six years, it's like Goodbye 2017 Good riddance, welcome 2018 That's going to be amazing. And 2019, you know, comes around and it's like, Oh, my goodness, 2018 you sucked, welcome 2019. And so you see this long-standing pattern of really feeling this sense of renewal when it comes to January 1st followed by reality that, hey, life is exactly the same as it was last year. And so you know, there's this concept of Blue Monday, you know, whether or not it's you fallen off the wagon with your New Year's resolutions, if that was your thing, whether you have some goals, you know, reality is you start with like intention and ambition and this fresh mind. And then comes the hard work. It's really, really to put any of it business personal, you know, if you're implementing grow theme, innovation forward in your life, it's going to be met with the difficulty, you know, there's this sense of your comfort zone, if you think about, you know, your comfort zone being a bubble. And really, you know, the only way that that comfort zone gets bigger is by stretching it. And it is uncomfortable at times. I actually ran into something recently with a client and agency client where they were offered an opportunity and basically turned it down because they were uncomfortable. And I'm not going to share a bunch of details. Obviously, this is their own private situation. But it really had me thinking so much about my own journey of discomfort, it had me thinking about what it meant for them for the future and how making the choice to go with what was comfortable really does define part of your journey unless you make an intentional decision to change it. So you know and we kind of start off with this discussion about discomfort and being willing to show up for your life yourself your business and show up and be uncomfortable because all sorts of beautiful and amazing things happen when you're willing to be uncomfortable but it's I think that there's this you know, it's it's not as bad as it used to be Instagram always of course used to make everyone would share everything that was so easy and so perfect and so amazing. All well in the behind the scenes, none of that was true. And I think that there's been this shift into more vulnerable open marketing, the transition from Instagram to Tiktok you know, you have people with messy hair and no makeup and sharing authentically about the fact that not everything is bubblegum and rainbows.

And so there has been a shift in the online space about what the new norm for sharing is. But I think that often times if we are quiet, more reserved people we see people Sharing and we don't think that could be us, we think oh my goodness, you know, if I go back to something from like a season one episode, Marissa Lonneke, talked about the vulnerability hangover when she brought her book, and I, myself have had that vulnerability hangover. Many times, whether it's over podcast episodes, or in the Facebook community, or, you know, any anything in the book that I contributed to anytime, where you're sharing your story, and you put it out in such a way that you can't easily retract, you have this moment of like, Oh, my goodness, I just shared that. And I don't know if I wanted to do that. And so you know, as people are sharing on social media, if you have people who typically share like their, you know, big vulnerable sharers, if you will, those who don't identify that way, often don't even think, oh, that could be me, they just think, Oh, my goodness, they go one of two ways, oh, my goodness, that person is so crazy for sharing all the details, I would never do that. Or they think, oh, good on that person. That is amazing. But I would never do that.

So you know, here we are. And we have this trend of being more vulnerable, being more open sharing the real journey. And then we have, it's met with the fact that there's still so much not being shared, you know, that the social media algorithm really plays into what you see, you really see that around politics, and not that we're gonna dive into politics, that's not the specific piece we're really talking about here. But the way that the algorithm matches you up with content that you want to see, so if you have liked a post, and even if you have not gone so far as to like a post, but you have been on that post, maybe you opened it to read something, and you were on it for a while, the algorithm then thinks, oh, you liked that, I can show you more of that. And that is how, you know, a lot of times, there's been a lot of research that goes into you know how these bigger social media movements occur, because people think everyone's saying that everyone's talking about how this politician was terrible. Everyone's talking about how this, you know, movement is so important. I haven't seen anything but everyone agreeing with me. And it's like a snowball that catches wind? Well, it's the same thing with your business content, it's the same thing with the content you're seeing, it's the same, you know, the algorithm is the same, whether it's political, or whether it's a mom blog, or whether it's business, social media posts, when people spend time on your content, when you spend time on other people's content, the algorithm is taking note of all of that, and is now matching additional content. So when you're seeing people, all people that are crushing it in life, or that's what they're sharing on social media, you're going to see more of that. And so, you know, there's this, this trend of being more open and more vulnerable, but at the end of the day, still, not everyone is sharing all the details. Those who are not sharing, you will never know what's truly going on behind the scenes or whatnot.

So don't think Oh, everyone's crushing it, except me, or everyone is so good at showing up on social media except me, or Oh, my goodness, look at everyone's businesses that are taking off except mine. You know, it's easy to get into this comparison piece. And it's easy to only see what you're, what you're being shown. And so you know, at this Blue Monday, time of year, you know, don't get down on the fact that, hey, 2023 is pretty much the exact same as 2022, it's just a few weeks later. And so you know, it's still time to do the work, you still have to show up and be uncomfortable, you still have to put in, you know, the work day after day. And you know, sometimes I'll be honest, it is challenging, I struggle to fit it all in.

You know, this year for 2023. If you've been here last week, you've learned that I have really been focusing on organization, this is my word for 2023. And well in some areas of my life that's going so well. I do feel much more organized in certain areas. And I do feel that the efforts are well placed and that things are going well and and like I'm reaping the benefits and whatnot in other areas. I'm like, Oh my goodness. Okay, so it's taking more time to do that. I have less time for you know, some of these other things. And, you know, at this moment, I'm currently focusing on solving a few health challenges that I have. And so I'm not currently exercising but in the back of my mind right now I'm like, oh my goodness, I am going to have to, you know, when I say I'm not exercising, I am like going for walks and those types of things, but I'm not physically adding, you know, the 45 minutes to an hour of gym workout time four to five days a week. You into the calendar, sorry, no, I'm looking at the calendar thinking, I don't know where that's going to fit. But we'll cross that bridge, when we come to it.

My hope is that the rest of some of these organizational pieces will have flushed out, we will be reaping the benefits in all of those areas. And that will provide the time and trusting the process there. But the analytical part of my brain is looking at the calendar going, there is not Five more hours in the week, it doesn't exist. And so there's this kind of almost inner struggle going on about well, do we believe the rational analytical, the rational, analytical brain? Or do we just trust the process and keep going, and the fact of the matter is, we're just trusting the process, and camera's gonna keep going. Because we cannot 100% understand exactly all of what will come. And we can only solve problems as they come. And so right now, we don't need to come up with that five hours. And so we will just press on. And we will utilize that time to organize now in hopes that that will help create the time later.

So just a few, you know, just to share a little bit in terms of you know, what I have going on? And there's always I feel like there's this theme of how do you how do you balance it all? I was recently on a podcast on someone else's podcast. And that's the question, you know, how do you balance being an entrepreneur and a mom of three, because it's, you know, it is challenging, I actually drop I this year, I was really excited that my little list was off to preschool for part of the time because I want to be able to, you know, schedule, and I do schedule, that preschool time, packed full of meetings, Zoom meetings, in person meetings, basically, anytime that I'm like, Okay, I need to get that done while he's in school. And I went so far as to, you know, really choose a preschool location that was like, right, close to where my bigger kids go to school thinking, hey, this is going to be great. There's like this brutal time gap, I dropped the big kids off at school, and then there's like this 35 minute gap in the schedule until I can drop my littlest off at school, and then it's, you know, he's not at school the full day, so then I'm home from my meeting, then I'm back to the school to pick him up, then we have some more time just over an hour, and then back to pick the kids up at school.

So I have gotten significantly more organized about what I can do in those times. Because sometimes you really do have enough time to zip up and do this other errand in this little gap. Don't want him to be late for school. But sometimes you'd nap you know, now I know, okay, well, I can go to these stores. In that time, I can zip up to the grocery store and pick up a few things, I can zip up to my grandma's and drop off a couple of things. You get to know what fits and what doesn't. But the only way that's possible is to push against that comfort zone and go and try, you know, I now know that I can go up to the store, pick up, you know, four or five things, maybe a loaf of bread and some produce or whatever, in that morning time slot, I can also mobile order my Starbucks and sit over there and grab it and make a couple of Tiktoks in that time.

The only way to know what is possible in that time is to try. And so coming back to the comment about you know, this client who basically turned down this opportunity because it was uncomfortable one, you know, it's the decision of hey, I am not willing to do that, you know, funny story going, you know, something I don't think I've shared on the podcast before. So about seven or eight years ago, I was on a business trip to Las Vegas. And so I well, it wasn't really a business trip. So a group from my, the business I used to be a part of, was down in Las Vegas, and they were at a conference. And some of them who were good friends of mine were staying for a few days after the conference. And so I thought, hey, I would love to. I love Las Vegas. And so I ended up finding an inexpensive flight and I flew down to meet them. So I was there for like the last day of their conference. And then for a few days afterwards. And I have joked for years, every time I'd ever been to Vegas, which 30 times I had said I wanted to jump off the stratosphere, knowing that none of the people that I was with would jump off the stratosphere. So it was kind of an empty, like it was like, gosh, that would be super cool. But it was kind of one of those things where like I never actually envisioned myself like I was like, Oh, that'd be super fun. It'd be super cool. But I also knew that no one was going to jump with me and I wasn't going to do it by myself.

So I was like, yeah, that'd be super cool. Well, this time one of the people that I work with, I arrive in Vegas, and someone says hey, so I know you always wanted to jump off the stratosphere and this person is gonna jump off with you. And I just remember that moment. Pardon me, being like, This is amazing. And we're moving. Oh my goodness, actually, I have to do it. And, and in my mind now I am visualizing jumping off stuff. atmosphere. So if this is I don't know if it still is, but it's one of the tallest buildings in Las Vegas. It's like 600 and something feet, I believe, and it's a guided freefall. So you jump off the top. And basically, you're in this harness, and all it does is keep you straight, but it doesn't speed control until right at the bottom. So then all of a sudden, the brakes come on, so that you don't go splat.

Anyway, So there we are. And we're talking about doing it. So we show up one night to go do this, but in my mind, I'm really thinking like, do you jump off? Do you like to take a foot off? Like, do you take a step up? I'm trying to visualize how you take your body from this platform and how you jump off and I can't do it. I can't. I'm like, if I take a jump off, does that kind of give me more speed? I don't know if I want more speed. I take like one foot off. I'm like cricket, or like going is that gonna give me like a speed wall. But like in my mind, I'm 100% overthinking this. Anyway, so we go up and it's too windy, the jumping is closed, you cannot jump off it is too windy. And now it's like Oh, see night on like now yeah, I'm gonna do it. And so this person's like, No, we're gonna do it the morning before we leave. So sure enough, the morning we're flying out, we go back to the stratosphere. And everyone we're with was gonna go for breakfast. And we're going to jump off. And so we get up there. And this person went first. And I just watched I mean, just like 123 leapt off that building, like okay, well now I know I have to do it was one eight, once I'd committed and paid and whatever I was doing it. But in my mind, watching this person leap off the side of the building, I was like, well, that feels that it's time to go.

So that was my turn. And I remember standing there and the person just counting down three to one. And I literally without any second thought just jumped off, jumped off the platform. And out we went. It was the most exhilarating, amazing experience. But it also was that willingness of like, that was that it was scary. It was uncomfortable, but it was worth it. In the end funny story that person that I jumped off the building with I went on to marry and he's my husband so you know one of those amazing random tales but the willingness to stand in the wind because even on a not so windy day being that high up it was windy and Salem a little platform and I remember the grip of the bars on each side the paint basically being worn off from people like gripping on cuz is long way up. Like you cannot see like your pupil down on the ground or like little specks. I have since also jumped out of an airplane. That was our next time you had to take that next step up.

I can say, you know, whether it is showing up to share a vulnerable story on the podcast or going on YouTube, or doing our live. Lives can be super intimidating. If you have never done a social media live, we use a tool that actually has us live in as many places as possible. If you've ever seen a live of mine, I talked about the tool every time because it has us live on LinkedIn, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, like all of the places, you know, it's like, well, if you're gonna do it, you may as well go all in. And so that willingness to be uncomfortable, that willingness to show up and do what it takes to move things ahead. I feel like it's such a key discussion this time of year because now is the time when you know, the basic motivation that comes from Fresh Start is gone, where the you know, discomfort, doing new things, challenging things stretching up against the comfort zone, all of those, you know, is it is time to push through to stretch that comfort zone to continue to decide because they are decision mindful decisions to continue even when it sucks.

I've been trying to explain to my daughters, my oldest daughter does competitive cheerleading. And so I mean she's almost 10 And they trained really hard. I mean hours and hours in the gym and I look at them coming together. I look at what this group of you know, 9, 10, 11 year olds can do. They were recently at a competition where somebody had been injured about 10 days before and the practices were messy. They made a bunch of changes you know you've got two bases are the people who are like lifting up the flyers in the air and whatnot and they had a bunch of changes people who had not been in that position before and are in that position and you know going into the competition was messy, messy messy. I was nervous for them because I thought you know they worked so hard and this is going to be super discouraging and it really can't be avoided because it's an injury even in the warm up area before they hit the floor. It was not going well but you know what that group of girls hit the competition floor and like Pro and they just got it done. Sure. It wasn't as perfect as you know, as they would have wanted, but no, no major issues, no mistakes I can tell The difference may be someone who hasn't watched the routine, hundreds and hundreds of times, maybe not. But you know, it showed it that ability to turn it on to get the job done.
It was very inspirational that this group of nine to 12 year olds could make that happen when it needed to happen. And so it shows that it's possible at all ages, it's possible at all different personality types, it's possible. It really is, though, that moment of decision, that is a decision that you make, get the job done. And so, you know, I encourage you, at this time of year, as we're running out of, you know, the basic fluff of, you know, New Years and motivation, and whatever. And we're really getting into the nitty gritty of the action of the work to keep going even when it is uncomfortable, even when it sucks even when you're like oh my goodness, I don't think I can do this going, you can do this, you can keep going no one ever died from being uncomfortable. And as much as there are some crazy fears, whether that is speaking in front of people or social media, doing a live, you know, sharing vulnerable whatever, whatever that is, for you.

I used to work with someone who was the, you know, super funny person, he was always chatty, he could walk up to anyone and start a conversation and carry out a comment. He was like, you know, a great connection builder, we'll put him in a group of people where he was going to speak, you know, in front of 12 or more people, and he was shut down. Now, over the years that I knew him, he worked at it and he did get better. It was never something he enjoyed doing, he did not look forward to speaking in front of groups of people. And it became almost something because he knew how to, you know, kind of be funny and whatever. And whenever he would often make a joke out himself or, or whatever to get out of a group, you know, big groups weren't something he would seek out. But he did get better at you know, what he did show up and get the job done on numerous occasions over the years and was willing to be uncomfortable.

And so I encourage you to do the same. You know, I encourage you to do whatever in your business you're not doing because of discomfort. So if that is you know, a certain type of marketing that you think would be the right thing for your business, but it's a no because it's uncomfortable. Do it and do it now. Whether it is marketing, whether it is you know developing or in you know, implementing new technology where you're like, oh, I don't like technology though do it anyway. Whether if it's reaching out to someone that you want to have on your podcast in your Facebook community, you don't part of your business. You know you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, put yourself out there, no one has died from being uncomfortable. No one has died from stage fright has to just show up because if you don't show up for your business, nobody else will take this episode and utilize it in whatever way serves you and your business at this time. Because 2023 is full of possibilities. It is a fresh start. It is an amazing opportunity for all the things you have in mind. But you have to be willing to show up and you have to be willing to keep going when it gets tough because it is tough and anyone who tells you that it is easy is lying. And anyone who tells you that they are 100% comfortable all the time. And so you do you, you do your thing and you show up for yourself and your business because you deserve it.
Well, we are all out of time for today. If you guys have not joined the service based business society Facebook community, make sure you head on over to Facebook and we can continue the conversation. Be sure to also follow the show by going to any podcast app and searching surface based business society. Click subscribe, click the fifth star and leave us a written review. Have a great week and we will see you soon