Why Saying No Could Be Your Biggest Yes
Download MP3Hello and welcome to the Service Based Business Society podcast. I am your host, Tiffany Ann Botcher. On our weekly episodes, we will dig into everything you need to know about scaling your service based business without losing sleep. With my experience in creating over 7 figures per month and a passion for marketing, finance, and automation, this show will provide tangible tips and techniques for scaling your business. Let's get started.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Welcome back to another episode. This week, I'm thrilled to be joined by Corey Poirier, a multi time TEDx speaker, founder of Blue Talks, and the author of The Enlightened Passenger. Corey has dedicated his career to empowering entrepreneurs and leaders to achieve sustainable growth through enhanced productivity and leadership. We're gonna talk all about the profound power of saying no, crafting personal mantras, and the habits that drive high achievement. Corey's wisdom, drawn from years of speaking at prestigious venues like Harvard and building a community of over 500 impactful speakers, offers a fresh perspectives on setting boundaries and finding clarity in a busy world.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Welcome to the show, Corey.
Corey Poirier:Thank you so much. I'm super excited to be here.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Yeah. I think it's gonna be a great episode, and I can't wait to dive in. So first, why don't we kick it off with just a little bit of information about you and how you got into the space?
Corey Poirier:Wow. I'll try to give you a really super short Reader's Digest version because I know that's a question that could go long. Meaning, like, I could I could cover a lot within that one question, but I guess short version of who I am and how I got to what I'm doing now is, I I came up in a small little town, raised by a single mother, basically thought you should say yes to everybody and figured out how to do it later, decided to start interviewing high achievers early on and started learning that a lot of what I had thought and been taught might have been true for some people, but it wasn't true for the people that I was studying. And so I basically started, I'll say, consuming and obsessing over the success habits and traits of the top achievers. And ultimately, following that and pursuing that led to everything else that's happened since.
Corey Poirier:So, like, becoming a speaker was a part of that, deciding to help other experts launch their speaking or expert business was a part of that, writing books was probably a part of that. Maybe the only thing in my life that wasn't really a part of that was writing music and performing stand up comedy. But everything else I did was really a part of that going out, obsessing over what made certain people different and then trying to implement it and see if what they had found and what I was learning actually rang true for what I was experiencing when I implemented this stuff. So I think that's the quickest Reader's Digest version I can give you of how I'm doing what I'm doing now, which is really helping experts, speakers, authors, coaches, etcetera, essentially up level and be positioned as kind of the go to person in their industry.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:I think that that piece is so important and and ultimately applies to every single industry. And and often is kind of that understated, you know, people start a business because they're passionate about something, and then it's it's, you know, they get going. But it really comes down to being that person, the expert in your field. And and regardless of the industry, it doesn't you don't have to be a speaker in order to be really regarded as the expert.
Corey Poirier:Yeah. I would agree totally. And I would say, you know, when we're helping people become positioned as the expert, we're not helping them. This I always make this clear to people. We're not helping you become a better chiropractor or we're not also helping you shield not being a good chiropractor.
Corey Poirier:We're ultimately aiming to work with people that either are good at their craft or are getting really good at their craft. But what we help them do is become the dentist that wrote the book on it versus just the dentist next door. And so what I mean by that, it's like if you compare it to Hollywood, if you look at somebody who's won an Oscar versus somebody who hasn't been up for an Oscar, whether we like it or not, the person that's won the Oscar is gonna get better roles, they're gonna get paid more, they're gonna get sought after more, people are gonna watch their movies more. And so we're trying to help people become kind of the Oscar winners of whatever industry they're in, which goes back to my point about if 2 dentists are operating on the same street and one wrote the book on dentistry, literally could be called the book of dentistry and the other one has never written a book and the one that wrote the book in dentistry is also featured every Monday on the local news channel and so on. Most people, which I mean, this is not even speculation.
Corey Poirier:Most people it's been proven. If all other things are equal, most people are gonna wanna go to the dentist. That's the local celebrity. And I would say this part not always proven, but mostly happens. They'll wait longer to see them and they'll pay more money to see them.
Corey Poirier:So that's where helping people is position themselves in such a way that they can demonstrate how really good they are and get people to notice that they're that good versus them maybe toiling around for years years as the best kept secret ever.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Absolutely. So important. So one of the things that you said when you were talking about your story was that you were saying yes to everything. And I think that as business owners, a lot of people feel the need to say yes to everything. It's that kind of desire to please the customer.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:It's always right. We must do all the things. And and people who've listened to the podcast know that I typically disagree with this a little bit because there's only so much of you to go around and and whatnot. But gosh, it's hard. And and I mean, I'm a bit of a people pleaser myself, so I know that it's hard to say.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:But what has your experience been?
Corey Poirier:Yeah. I mean, so ultimately, again, you know, I said off the top that I used to I mean, I literally there was a Richard Branson quote that I heard years ago. And the quote I heard was say us to everything and figure out how to do it later. And that really stumped me because I'm like, this guy's running hundreds of businesses, and he's saying yes to everything. So clearly, I'm supposed to say yes to everything.
Corey Poirier:And then my grandfather, who was a carpenter, grades 3 education, but a carpenter in a small town, He, you know, he was my point of an entrepreneur, like what was successful as an entrepreneur. And he told me, oh, you know, how I've done a lot of this stuff is I always say yes to every customer's request. So again, Tiffany, I'm being groomed to believe yes is the right answer. And then some things once I started interviewing high achievers regularly and noticed that they were saying no 20 to 50 times more than everybody else, I started doing a bit of dissection. And I realized, first of all, it was Richard Branson that the quote I was hearing over and over was only part of the quote.
Corey Poirier:I found the original quote and it was something to the effect of, say yes to everything you are passionate about and figure out how to do it later. Meaning that there's a key difference there that you're passionate about makes a big difference versus just everything. And then my grandfather, I had to look at the fact that he was a carpenter in a small town. That's a different beast or a different role or different capacity than let's say Tony Robbins, you know, who has whatever amount of employees and people trying to get to him every 5 minutes of every day. It's, you know, it's a different it's just a different role.
Corey Poirier:And and what my grandfather was saying was true for him. It really made sense for him. But his job like, he was literally would go to a job site, and then the job will be that job for 4 months or 3 months or 2 months. So there was no other distractions. He wasn't, like, trying to juggle 75 things.
Corey Poirier:He was and he was the foreman even when he was the foreman. He was still answering the questions to his employees that were working on that job. So everything was fixed around supply or working with this one client or customer for 4 months. Well, of course, it makes sense to say yes to that customer if they're your only customer for 4 months. I just didn't know the context whenever I first heard it.
Corey Poirier:So what I've discovered since is no is the new yes. And I believe many of us in most circumstances, a, should make no or new mantra. And b, even if we're not in a role like I just described with Tony Robbins, we still need to start practicing saying no more because I believe that the overwhelm we're seeing by so many people, a lot of that is people pleasing. A lot of that is saying yes to everything.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:I think that there's I mean, there's so many key pieces to what you just said. So many value pieces there. But I think, you know, the first one that stuck out to me was context. And and, you know, how often are we taking advice or a quote or something somebody said or even, you know, one little paragraph in a whole book where that has become the piece that people think about or remember or get shared. And they're what you know, it's like, well, but hold on.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:There was a whole piece there in the middle that was so important. And it's, you know, it's the part that people share on on social media is only, you know, the icing on the top of the cupcake. Nobody shares about the actual cupcake. And let me tell you, the cupcake was a lot harder to make than the icing on the top. It's always this context that's missing.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:And we're also talking a little bit about where in the journey, which is something I often talk about. And so what it works for one person in one situation, you know, very different situation. And really identifying, you know, you're saying, hey. This works for some people, but those high achievers, that's different. And so really deciding where you where you are in your journey and where you wanna be.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Because if you wanna be a high achiever, you, you know, you can't be thinking small. You can't be doing these other things that sure worked for somebody. They do, but maybe not for the the journey that you're on in your destination.
Corey Poirier:Yeah. I would agree with that. And something else that you just said about social media. I've said that on social media, we're living a filtered life. And, so I have a talk that I've delivered numerous times.
Corey Poirier:I I wanna deliver it again soon, but it's called living the unfiltered life. And it's the idea of understanding well, first of all, us being transparent and authentic with how we're showing people to do stuff on social media. But then at the same time, if people aren't gonna be authentic, us also now us, I'm generalizing both ways, us doing our own due diligence with Yes. Seeing if a person really is what they say. And I did a talk at Columbia University a few years back, and I want to highlight this in the sense that people can basically run a Facebook ad and say, let me show you how to have this house and this car.
Corey Poirier:And literally, they could do that by standing in front of somebody house house and car, and we don't see whenever the camera goes off and the person comes out with a gun and says, get away off, get off my lawn. You know, we don't see that part. And so I wanted to show people that perception isn't always reality. And so what I did was I have a Rolex. It was one of those things years ago.
Corey Poirier:It was just more of a self worth, like, to prove to myself I deserve this. And to be honest with you, Tiffany, it's been on my wrist 4 times ever. Like, I just I'm not a watch wearer, and I thought I was going to be, and I'm not. But what I did was we went to New York, and my wife and I, she was on the trip with me. We went down to I forget what street it's called, but if I heard the name, I'd know, but it's a street where they sell a lot of inauthentic items.
Corey Poirier:And so I went and bought, Folex. Okay. But it it, like, literally looked so good that there were 2 people in the room where we're doing the event that had Rolex and they're like, oh my god. That is amazing. You know, do you wanna sell it?
Corey Poirier:And then it was literally a fake Rolex. So I did in my talk, I showed the cameraman, Tyler, our cameraman. I said, Tyler, I want you to zoom in to show this is really a Rolex because I want people to see what I'm doing is real. And I decided that at Columbia University, this is the place to separate myself from material stuff. So I hope you guys can see what I'm doing.
Corey Poirier:This is a hammer like my grandfather used to use as a carpenter, and then I walked over and smashed the Rolex. You can hear in the room and but when I and so then I took off my jacket. So I was wearing, a sports coat, which I do wear sometimes to time, like a blazer, and I was wearing, dress shoes. And And I took off the dress shoes and the blazer, threw it to the side, and put on sandals. And what I would normally wear, dress shirt, jeans, and sandals, and I said, this is the real me.
Corey Poirier:That was not a real Rolex. But how many of you believed it was? And I that the what I was trying to demonstrate is that's what social media can be like. We believe the person sitting in front of the house really owns the Rolex when realistically, they might not own the Rolex or the house. And so this was a long tangent to say I agree with you that we have to either stop following what people say in social media unless we know what they're saying is authentic, or as creators, we need to start becoming more authentic when we create stuff.
Corey Poirier:And I think that one's less likely to happen as a general rule. I think good creators are always gonna do it right, and creators that are trying to get this shortcut are probably gonna say they've made a $1,000,000 when they haven't. That's probably not gonna change. So the only part I think that's easier to change is us starting to do our own due diligence. And if somebody says they've done something, at least do a bit of research to see if everything matches.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:100%. I think that there has become this almost whole life online. It's the, you know, the rented rented Ferraris, the private planes that never leave the runway. You know? And and and although in in a big scale, you think, oh, yeah.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Yeah. Obviously. But there's small things. It's it's the coaches that that coach coaches, but have never done it. And it's the and it's, you know, it's really deciding.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:You were talking about how you identified these high achievers and then you decided what were those people doing. And really identifying when you're looking at anyone, do those people are they living the life that I want? Are they walking the walk that I want? Because number 1, you can always take bits and pieces. And and no one what they say, you know, in in anything in life.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:If they say 10 things, take the 5 that you want and toss the rest. But make sure that the person is in alignment with who you wanna be, the values that you wanna portray, and and the, you know, overall achievements that you're looking for. Because you can take advice from someone that is is doing none of what you want. And sure, it's advice, and you could follow it, and it works for them for what they want. But it's I think that that due diligence online, you know, especially in the in the generation of AI and and all of these things, it becomes harder and harder.
Corey Poirier:Yeah. It's I mean, it's easier and easier to deep fake stuff now.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Yes.
Corey Poirier:And, you know, it's it's interesting. I I won't go too far down this rabbit hole, but I saw somebody recently post that it was something to do with the moon landing and saying, you know, Buzz Aldrin said that it didn't happen. And then when you go deeper down the rabbit hole, you see that he didn't say that, but it was placed up to see that. And then there's the ones that say, this is what it you know, the moon landing, come on. This is not even a real moon landing.
Corey Poirier:And then you go compare it to the original. It's a different video. What I mean is the the crazier part is if you don't do your due diligence now, how are you gonna keep up whenever somebody can make a Tom Cruise video looking like he's saying he's about to shoot someone that he's really not going to, and that it's never a part of that video. Did a I I I went I interviewed, a bunch of influencers at V con, Gary Vaynerchuck's event. And I asked him the question, Gary, during the journalist setting, what happens in the future with all this deep fake stuff and everything?
Corey Poirier:Like, how are we going to protect ourselves from being scammed over and over or think or, like, crucifying people for something they didn't even say because somebody made a video. And he actually said and he ended up just sharing what he said because I thought it was brilliant. He said he believes that's where Bitcoin, the technology that works on Bitcoin, is gonna actually serve us even better than the value of Bitcoin. Mhmm. The blockchain technology, he believes what's gonna happen at some point.
Corey Poirier:And I think it's a cool, let's say prediction, is we're all gonna have our own blockchains black blockchain site, and that's gonna be the only place you can be a 100% certain that what you're getting is really from
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Interesting.
Corey Poirier:So that's a side track, but what I will say is it's also at at at least a touch point on the fact that what you said is true is these days you can never be a 100% for sure that what you're following is legitimate and all that kind of stuff. So the best you can hope to do is at least do a little bit of extra work to see the i's dot into the t's cross. Like, for example, somebody that says, I'm gonna show you how to crush it on YouTube and then they have their YouTube channel at the bottom of the page, or you ask to see their YouTube channel, and they have 8 subscribers and 50 like 50 views. And then you say to them, well, wait a minute. You know, you're selling me this.
Corey Poirier:How come you're not using it? Well, I'm not trying to become an expert. Like, they have excuses as to why. But my thing is, if you're gonna show me how to do that, you should have proof that you've done that. And and just I will say there's a lot of people that haven't, yet they're out there every day pitching me.
Corey Poirier:So I have to believe they're convincing people to sign up with them to help them crush it on YouTube whenever they haven't even done it themselves. So I think even that level of research, like, if they're saying I'm gonna show you how to grow your Facebook following and engagement, and you go to their fan page and they have 2 likes every now and then. I think there's tell tales online, but a lot of us don't wanna go down the path because it takes extra work or we feel, well, they wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. But I can tell you honestly that this is stuff that can take you 15 minutes and and it's common stuff. Like, it's not like I don't have to be a tech person to go on their page and see how many followings and likes and comments they have.
Corey Poirier:If they have 0 comments on their last 40 posts, how are they gonna prove to me that they can actually get me a bunch of engagement?
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Absolutely. Absolutely. So you talked a little bit about saying no to more things and and kind of your journey to that. How has that really shifted your current place in life?
Corey Poirier:Well, if I take it just from a base level, what it's done to improve my life, it's I gained some sanity back. You know, just not saying yes to every single thing that comes your way is liberating. It's freeing. You know, there's a lot of and by the way, I'm still a work in progress. Like, I'm still literally right now, we're working on with BlueTox.
Corey Poirier:What's a yes for Corey? What's a no for Corey? Meaning, like, what does Corey have to offload? I'm actually reading a great book right now, highly recommend called, buy back your time. And honestly, the the biggest things in it are how to figure out what's a delegation, what's a replacement, and what you should be doing.
Corey Poirier:And so I've been I've been working on that. I'm still working on that. But as a person that's a which I don't know much about this, so I shouldn't even bring it up, Tiffany. But human design, I found a new manifesting generator, which basically we're not we're not good at delegating. So this has been like a 5 year progress for me just with BlueTox.
Corey Poirier:It's probably taken me longer to scale it because I don't like delegating. And I've had to fight that. And so saying no, that is delegating. Right? Like, when you say no, I'm not gonna do this, but so and so will.
Corey Poirier:And so and so will do a better job than me because they're better at it and they enjoy it. That's a no. So it's been a work in progress, but what it's done is both from a personal point of view, me saying no, and a business point of view, it's freed up my deck to do stuff I really like. So, you know, I have a 7 and a 4 year old. My wife is dealing with some health stuff right now.
Corey Poirier:I've been able to be all in on that stuff because of my nose. People say to me, how do you get so much crap done? Like, I have a friend that's I thought I should write a book called getting, getting crap done, but a different word than crap. And, she thought, you you know, you need to write this book because you seem to be able to do more in 35 hours a week than a lot of people do in 90 or a 100. Most of that comes back to my nose.
Corey Poirier:So I figured out what my personal mission statement is and it ties into my business mission statement as well. And by knowing that by saying knowing that and then being able to say no to almost everything that doesn't fit the 5 point test, it allows me to free up most of what I don't like doing to do what I love doing. So a, I have more energy because I'm mostly doing what I love which means I'm not really working. And b, I say no to a lot of things that would drain my energy. And so I think both of those have allowed me to be more productive and also be more fulfilled.
Corey Poirier:And so I know that's sort of abstract, but that's what it's allowed me to do. I mean, we can dive into how and how I do it and how I do it with the opening bridges. But really, at the base level, that's what it's done for my life.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:So you talked about a 5 point framework, and I I wanna come back to that in a second. But I feel like noes are are tough, and it and it kind of almost is like, you know, whether it's saying no to something or setting a boundary. It's not my it's not I've shared we've we've had many episodes on the podcast. We've had some boundary experts saying no. I have to share something that happened last year.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Last year I was on a sales call and I've been practicing saying no actually. And I was on a sales call with someone who was a referral of someone else that I knew. And and it was such a misalignment on the call. You know when you're talking to someone and you just know it's not the right opportunity. Yes.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:And, you know, I was I would say I'm better at it now. It's I'm something I'm working on. But I said, hey, like I I just really am not sure that there's a good fit here. And it it didn't necessarily make sense. She was using a software we didn't necessarily support and we kinda went through.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:And she this this lady, she ended up flying off the handle that I said no. She was so excited that we were gonna work together, and she was, like, chatting in Facebook groups and bad mouthing me and went up one side and down the other. It was this whole big thing. And I'm gonna tell you, I was so nervous the next time to say no because sometimes, you know, when you're talking about not burning bridges, I mean, that that story comes to mind for me right away because I was I was trying so hard to get better at it. And let me tell you, it was a blaze of burning glory.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:And I still, even just talking about it, feel that like, oh, oh, gosh. It was awful. So so tell me, how do we do it without without such situation?
Corey Poirier:Yeah. So I mean and I will say what I'm about to share, you almost have to because for everything I say, there's always variables. So you almost have to customize it a bit for the situation. But I'll tell you the base level and then, you know, there's ways you could customize it based on what you just said. So at the core level, I'll tell you where I learned it because I always believe credit where credit's due.
Corey Poirier:I learned this from Chalene Johnson, who is the Turbo Jam Beachbody program. She was, like, the head of that craze, and then she's now become an Instagram sort of influencer and what have you. And, she was talking to me about how they were running, like, 600 studios. If you want a comparison, think about, like, p 90x or, I forget what the other one's called with Sean t. But there's a bunch you know, these work at programs or even, like, what Richard Simmons used to do.
Corey Poirier:But, like, she had 600 of those happening. And the ones that were closest to her in California, the instructors, if they had stuff going on, they would reach out to her and say, Shailene, can you take over for me this Friday? And, you know, here she's running a company with 600 locations, like, 600 classes. The DVDs were selling. They end up selling, I think, 7,000,000 copies.
Corey Poirier:So, like, all of this is blowing up. And she's saying yes to go teach a class in the middle of all that. So she finally realized that it was impacting negatively her home life because she was saying no. So here's something we learn over time. It took me a long time to learn this, but every time you say yes, you have to say no to something else.
Corey Poirier:I'm sorry. Every time you say no, you're saying yes to something else. So when you understand that, in her case, she was saying no to her family to go fill in for this one class. And so she finally realized that the best way for her to say no was to be honest about it. But what she also did, the psychological psychology behind this is brilliant.
Corey Poirier:So what she started doing is saying, look, I would love to help. However, I have to talk to Brett. Now Brett's her husband. I have to talk to Brett because sometimes he schedules stuff that I and sometimes I do. I have to talk to Brett to make sure that me saying yes isn't gonna interfere with something we have going on with the family.
Corey Poirier:As you know, we're a very family driven business and the family is really important and I'm already maxed out in time. So I just gotta make sure I'm not saying yes and then having to go apologize at home. So if you can give me a day or 2 to find that out, I'll come back and let you know. And if I can't help, I'll try my best to find somebody who will. And so that's what I started doing.
Corey Poirier:I started figuring out what's the equivalent of I gotta check with my family and what's the equivalent of can I get back to you tomorrow and what's the equivalent of if I can't help, I'll try to refer you to somebody else who can? And that approach, I'm just gonna say it this way, in saying no in that way, 100 and 100 and 100 of times since, I can't remember one time where somebody got really mad at me. Now the why I say you have to customize this is because somebody wanting to work with you or thinking they're gonna be getting business from you is slightly different than somebody asking you to help them with this project or to help them move their couch or whatever that looks like. So you still have to kinda dig it a bit deeper because they're thinking as well probably thinking is like, well, what do you mean your at capacity? Why are we even on this call then?
Corey Poirier:And like, there's some variables there when it's like they think we're gonna be business partners or work together. So I've had people that reach out to me and say, can you write the foreword for my book? Can you write an endorsement for my book? Hey. I think we'd be we should partner our 2 companies.
Corey Poirier:There's a girl I can think of right now who's had some challenges over the last few years, mental challenges that she's gone through some really deep stuff. And three times, she said, you know, we should merge our companies, do all the stuff. And I just had a vibe that, a, I don't wanna do that from a branding point of view, but b, I just felt like there was more going on and it was gonna turn into possibly, like, one person doing more than the other and stuff like that. And so but it was hard because their mindset is, oh my gosh. We can do so much great together.
Corey Poirier:And to go back to your other point, Tiffany, they were a referral from one of my best clients. So I had to basically, detail why I didn't think it could be would be a fit right now. One aspect of that is my wife is, part owner of the company. And, you know, and so when we I talked to her about it at home, she goes, throw me under the bus. You know, say that I don't wanna go in that direction with the company, and I still have to give her a sign off on that.
Corey Poirier:And so what I'm getting at but but I also even by doing that, the person's feelings could still be hurt. So what I could say is, I don't wanna bring you into our networking group we have, and you might find somebody else's even a better fitter synergy than me.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Mhmm.
Corey Poirier:So Yes. I feel like the the what the real core aspect of it is is telling the person why it might be a no, and then telling them how you can still have a win win out of it. That if I Absolutely. Kinda tried to look in the outside in. So that's worked really well for me in operating bridges.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:There you go. And it's so important because we do need the ability to say yes or no and really be able to to make those choices, whether it's partnering or merging, any of those things. I think a lot of times that it usually you know, someone has taken on something like that. It didn't go well, and then the next time that they're much more cautious. Whether it's giving part of your company to an employee, whether it's merging with something, I feel like those decisions really need to be you know, think about it for the long term because, you know, there's there's so many things that can go wrong.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:So many things that can go right, you don't always need to actually merge in order to get the benefits. But once you've merged, it's there's there's the opportunity for all sorts of issues.
Corey Poirier:Yeah. I have, a close friend and I won't go too much detail in it because I don't wanna kinda her to go, oh, he's talking about me in the show. But she sold a portion of her company, and she thought it was gonna be one way, and they made it, like, they were like, oh my gosh. We're gonna oops. Oh my gosh.
Corey Poirier:We're gonna work together. This is gonna be so fantastic. Look at all the we're gonna take over the world together. And then once they owned more percentage of the company than her, what she felt is they kinda started running the company the same way as another office of theirs, which was more not local, not
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Yeah.
Corey Poirier:Hands on, not intimate way of working with clients and all that. And ultimately, she ended up selling the rest of the company that she had built for 30 years and loved and would have stayed with and she'd known, end up selling the rest of the company, the other 49%, I think within 2 years. And she said I was slowly dying every day. But to your point, it's you can't go back then. And Mhmm.
Corey Poirier:There's no way she could have known because they were making it seem great. But but to your point, there probably would have been a way they could have partnered on some projects together and then she would have been their philosophy is a bit different than I've kind of been led to believe. And so yeah. I mean, there there's definitely ways. And like I said, I think if she could go back into a time machine, she would've she'd say no if she had the same question now.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Yeah. It's it's there's always that kinda hindsight as 2020, and I feel like it's no matter what, it's we always you know, people go in believing the best of the situation, which is a good thing. But oftentimes, you know, it's that, you know, we come around for, you know, a second time, and then we decide we need to put a little more weight to some of these pieces because your business and what you've built, you know, for however long is is your baby. And so need to really protect that. So you talked about that 5 point framework about how you decide on the things that you're gonna say no.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Can we can we touch a little on that?
Corey Poirier:Yeah. So it's really my personal mission statement, and kind of those 5 points are really just the five things that I decided I wanted to do as part of my mission and then putting up this new request, whatever that request looks like against those 5 and seeing how many of it does it hit. So to that's abstract so to make it a little more logical, basically my 5 point mission statement is to be the guy that motivates, donates, inspires, educates and entertains and that goes through the business. That's what I want our business to do and that's personally what I wanna do. And so the donate, let's say, is part is a little more personal.
Corey Poirier:The motivate part might be more on the business side. But essentially, what I do is if somebody says, hey, Corey. I have an opportunity for you to be featured on this cooking show. So that on these very easily, I would look at those 5 and say, how many of those 5 is it gonna hit? And I quite honestly, years ago to be on TV, not because I crave fame but because I wanted to impact lives and I felt the media allows me to do that But I I thought it didn't matter what media.
Corey Poirier:Like, I just thought jump on the show, make a big impression, and then somebody else will see you. And I just thought, yeah. And and there's an example where for some people, it could be a heck yes because it could do that. Like, maybe they wanna be, a self esteem expert on a show, and so they go on a cooking show because they're kind of close. Like, they can talk about the cooking and how it increases your self esteem.
Corey Poirier:Like, they could probably make that fit. But for me, when I look at my 5 points, there's almost 0 of those that's gonna be hit with a tell TV show about cooking. So that's gonna be an easy no without regret always. Now flip side is somebody says, we want you to speak at this, charity event. So maybe I'm not even getting paid.
Corey Poirier:We want you to speak at this charity event. It's for this charity, bitch, your grandma like, they might not know this, but your grandmother suffered with Alzheimer's, let's say. And it's the charity for Alzheimer's and raises money for that. And you're gonna be in front of 3,000 people, CEOs of companies, and you get a chance to entertain them, educate them, inspire them, you see where this is going. That's gonna be a heck yes without regret.
Corey Poirier:So I put it against those 5. If it's 4 or 5 at a 5, it's a heck yes. If it's 1 or 2, it's a heck no. If it's a 3, it's a okay. Let's think about this for at least 5 minutes.
Corey Poirier:Most of my most of my things are okay. I know I'm gone. Like, I know it's a no. See, You know? Or I know it's a yes.
Corey Poirier:Let's do it. And so that's kinda my 5 point system. And so what that involves for a lot of people is saying, what is my mission? And what's a heck yes within that mission? And what's a heck no?
Corey Poirier:Do
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:you think that a lot of people are lacking mission in today's day and age?
Corey Poirier:Yes. I mean, so yes. I'm gonna I'm just gonna I I should have even said that quicker. They I should be even head to
Speaker 3:head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to head to
Corey Poirier:head to head. Right, this point is over 8,000, but I've been saying 75100 for a long time, but it's over 8,000, thought leaders. Now let's be on, that's a big research pool. Like, that's bigger than the Nielsen ratings does for to determine how many people are watching TV. But the other in fairness side is I'm interviewing a lot of high achievers.
Corey Poirier:So you're gonna get skewed answers because you're interviewing mostly one type of person. Now so the irony is if I only went by what I'm learning there, Tiffany, I would say, oh, no. I think the majority of people have mission statements. So I would actually say the opposite because a lot of those high achievers do. But the reason I say I believe it's the opposite is because of how many people we've worked with over the years that have come to us and or even speaking at events with 3,000 people in the room saying, how many people here show of hands have a mission statement?
Corey Poirier:And there's, like, 4 hints. So my own studying has been me asking people and even the people that join and start working with us, even a lot of those people are earlier in their path and don't have one. So I think most people don't have a mission statement and the irony is that bare essentials of having a mission statement can take you 5 minutes. Like meaning, I can literally write down on this paper, I could say, okay, what do I wanna be known for? Or what do I want my life to be about?
Corey Poirier:And let's say I'm a parent and that gives me joy. Literally, my mission statement could be the best parent on the block. It'd be the best parent that and the world's ever known. That could be my mission statement. So to me, to write down your mission statement is easy.
Corey Poirier:Crafting it, curating it, finding out if the real mission statement does take time, but there's nothing stopping anybody from getting started. As I like to say, done is better than perfect. And so writing it down is where it starts, and that's so I don't think a lot of people have it. And I also don't think most people know how powerful it is once you figure out what your purpose and meaning is. And finally, I don't think people realize it's just a matter of literally taking a pen and a paper and writing for 10 minutes.
Corey Poirier:That's all it takes to start the process.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:I think so often when we think mission statement and I I love that there's a trend away from this. But so often, for a long time, it was, I wanna start a business. I'm gonna need a 70 page business plan. They would go online, and it was, like, all these templated sections people need to plan. And they needed a mission statement.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:But this was the kind of mission statement that was more like a marketing direction mission statement. You know, people and and and it had so much more to do for someone else. And then, you know, I love that we're tossing out those business plans because they are you know, they serve a place but very small. Most people don't need the 70 page business plan to start their idea. And and the mission statement the this type of mission statement is so much more about what you and your relation, whether it's business or personal, about, you know, who you wanna be and what you wanna put out there.
Corey Poirier:Yeah. No. Absolutely. I I totally agree. And I will say too for me personally, if you asked me, you know, if you sat down and said, based on your journey today, what are the things you would have wish you would have done sooner and known sooner?
Corey Poirier:One of the things that well, the thing that almost always comes up is, a, how powerful it is to find a purpose in your life, and b, I would say how important a mission statement is to that cause. And where it came to be, by the way, is one day when I was in sales back, like, before I even got into the, let's say, personal development space, I was sitting in an office and I looked at this wall and I had this great mission statement. And it started getting me thinking about how the company has this great mission statement. But all these individuals working here probably don't have their own. So why is it so important for a company that serves people to have a mission statement, but individuals who are serving themselves and other people to not have one?
Corey Poirier:And it was just like a a light bulb went, I need a mission statement. And then that's what started me down this path. And then seeing what it's done for my life is what started me getting talking to other people about, do you have one? And if not, why? And, also, if not, let's get you started.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Absolutely. Absolutely. So I I feel like I know what your your tip's gonna be, but I'll ask anyway. If some if you had one tangible tip for someone to go out and and ultimately make a big impact on their life and business, what would it be?
Corey Poirier:Well, I mean, so, of course, the the easy answer would be say start writing your mission statement. That would be the easy one. I wanna give a second one because that's too easy to say. So that's one, but I say say the second one, which ties into this completely, so it's part of that in my opinion, is if you haven't found a purpose or a passion in your life, you may not realize why it's so important. But as somebody who studied 8,000 people living on purpose, I can tell you it's everything and most people don't have it.
Corey Poirier:They don't know what is that calling. What is the one thing I'm truly put here to do? I think this is so powerful that it's why Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist who, wrote the book Man's Search for Meaning, basically survived the holocaust, he said, because he had meaning in his life. And he actually, after that, started to continue this practice where he did instead of talk therapy, he would help people find meaning. And he said almost all their problems in a way.
Corey Poirier:The blue zones that people have ever heard of it. You know, the 5 zones where people live the longest. Guess what? The most common thing the thing they have in common is that they live on purpose. It's one of their nine things and I could go on and on.
Corey Poirier:This is proven. So I believe you need to find your purpose. I'll call it uncover your purpose because I think it's already there. So how do you do that? Here's a quick step is take a piece of paper and again insert type on your computer if you want.
Corey Poirier:But take a piece of paper, write down here's the things that get my mojo working. Like whenever I do this, I don't watch the clock. And if you're struggling with those things, say, okay. What did I like doing when I was a kid? What would I do if I won the lottery?
Corey Poirier:What do I think I would actually sit and do? And I could say, if you think you'd go to a beach and retire forever, okay. Well, a month later when you came back, because you wouldn't stay retired there forever probably, a month later when you came back, what do you think you would do? And so make this list of what do you like doing? What do people say you're good at?
Corey Poirier:What did you do when you were a kid and people talk to it of doing it and so on? Make this list and let's say your list looks like photography, comedy, music, whatever that looks like. Then what I want you to do is put the one at the top that gets you the most excited and then all I want you to do is figure out what are some baby steps I would have to do to try this, to take action this. So for example, if it was stand up comedy, take action steps could be go to watch comedy. It could be take a comic out for lunch, sign up for a comedy workshop, it could be read a book on comedy, watch HBO and say what what did I like about this comic and make notes.
Corey Poirier:And so these are your baby steps. And each time you do one of these, Tiffany, give yourself a reward. We love rewards. So give yourself some sort of reward predetermined what it'll be. And let's say there was 5 steps to get on a stand up stage.
Corey Poirier:My belief is after you've done those 5 things, given yourself 5 rewards, you've learned about comedy because you've talked to other comics, you've went to the workshop and all that stuff. Now getting on a comedy stage is this much it's this big. It's that hard now. It's small. It's not as hard as it ever was.
Corey Poirier:It's easier to step on a stage because you've taken all the baby steps along the way and gave yourself rewards and made yourself realize you could do it. So the takeaway from that is what I would do is make the list of the things you think you'd love doing, put them in order, figure out what the baby steps are, give yourself rewards and take action. And my bet is within 2 months, you'll know if that's a passion for you. And if it is a passion, keep doing it and ultimately, the purpose will reveal itself. When you find a real passion, I believe passion is the gateway to purpose.
Corey Poirier:You can't just go from nothing to purpose. So start doing the thing and if you like the thing to keep doing it, eventually the purpose will reveal itself. And the one challenge you're gonna get when you bring this up to people is they're gonna say, well, yeah, but how do I know I'm gonna get paid to do it? It doesn't matter. If it's something you think I need to get paid to do it, it's not a real passion.
Corey Poirier:So start doing it because you love it. And then what I find is, if you are gonna do it for a living, eventually, the the path to that will reveal itself. So just do it on the side. You're now doing something you love. It'll make your day better anyway.
Corey Poirier:You're following a journey of something you think you enjoy. And even if you only did it for 2 months and found it isn't the one, who cares? You did something you thought you loved for 2 months, move on to the next one. So that's a bigger take action, but that's a tangible thing you can start doing today. Make that list and then also write a mission statement.
Corey Poirier:If you do those two things, I believe you are a 1000 steps closer to whatever it is you're meant to do.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Wow. And an enjoyable journey. Well, you know, you're as you're saying, try it out. I mean, there's no harm in trying it out and you can have so much benefit to gain. I love that.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Corey, where can people connect with you or can they learn more about the the work that you're doing?
Corey Poirier:So if they I mean, so if somebody's listening that wanted to they felt they wanna get their message out to more people, you know, that's what we do as I mentioned with BlueTox. So if somebody truly wanted to, follow that path. So if they wanted to reach out and say, okay, how could I speak on one of those stages? How could I become a best selling author? How can I get guidance around, increasing my profile or reaching more clients or what have you?
Corey Poirier:If that's the path, I would send them to an easy website. It's speak on blue.com, and blue is v l u. So speak on blue.com. That way people can grab a, you know, time to chat with us and see if we can help them. If you wanna go a a shorter path and you just wanna reach out to me, then you could simply go to probably coreypouriermedia.com.
Corey Poirier:And the reason I say that one is because when you go there, all the links for social are on there. So that way, I don't have to tell you, like, 12 places or anything. So either speak on blue.com if you if you what you heard around that getting your message to more people appeals to you or you're a coach or a speaker or an author or wanna be. The other side is if you wanna just connect with me and say you heard me on the show, coreypouriermedia.com, that'll get you to me.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:Awesome. Thank you, Corey, so much. It's been so valuable. And I think there's just so many so many pieces here that can not just help business, but also help help with just building and improving your life, really becoming one of those high achievers.
Corey Poirier:Thank you so much. I so appreciate it, Tiffany. It's been an absolute pleasure, and you made it easy for me.
Tiffany-Ann Bottcher:We're all out of time for today, but the fun doesn't stop here. Make sure to subscribe to the Service Based Business Society podcast on your preferred podcast app. If you're hanging out over on YouTube search for Tiffany Anne Botcher, your likes, shares, and reviews really do help the show. Until next time. Have a great week.
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