Service Based Business Society Podcast

Season: 2
Episode: 11

Title: A different perspective

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Hello, and welcome to the service based business society podcast. I'm your host, Tiffany-Ann-Bottcher. At our weekly episodes we will dig into everything you need to know about scaling your service based business without losing sleep. With my experience in creating over seven figures per month, and a passion for marketing, finance and automation. This show will provide tangible tips and techniques for scaling your business. Let's get started.

Tiffany:
Hello everybody. Welcome back to another episode today we have an exciting guest in the studio. Daphne Wells joins us now. Daphne helps midlife women feel safe, solid and secure to share their magic with the world and make more money with ease and flow. I mean, if that doesn't sound completely magical, I don't know what it is. So Daphne says as your purpose and spiritual confident Alchemist Daphne delivers insanely powerful insights that give you radical permission to show up in your power and fulfill your purpose in the world. Through her life changing coaching inner circles, energy readings and forecasts and of course her book decide choose your own path. She's here to shake up your approach to business and life. When she's not inspiring women around the globe to make more money in record time, you'll find Daphne creating magic with fabric and threads, getting her hands dirty, growing what she eats or frolicking in the waves. Super excited to bring Daphne welcome, Daphne.

Daphne
Thank you, Tiffany. And it's a pleasure to be here.

Tiffany
So before we dive in, why don't you tell us just a little bit about you and your business?

Daphne:
I am definitely and I live in New Zealand and work with women globally, to create financial freedom doing what they love. So really identifying and refining what their purposes are and how they share that in the world.

Tiffany:
That sounds like an incredible mission. I am always intrigued how people get started in their own businesses. So how did you find your passion and doing this

Daphne:
long journey to get here where I am today, Tiffany, and if I'm honest, I started way back about two and a half decades ago as I was maneuvering my way out of an abusive marriage with four children, and going to lots of different counselors trying to get the help that we needed for our marriage and our family. And I really got frustrated in the process because they took me down that big black hole that I had already crawled partway out of and, and amongst all of that, I ended up in business for myself to create enough income. And the evenings while I was home with children, I could only work school hours in those days. And once I was on my own, and then I ended up buying a business and hospitality business, and Animax, that I hired and fired three different business coaches because they shut it on me and they told me what I should do. And I knew what I should do. What I didn't know was how to do it consistently and sustainably in a way that felt right for me. And, amongst all of that I met up with a life coach and that woman literally changed my life because she helped me work through all of the stuff or a lot of the stuff that counselors hadn't been able to. She helped me see your way forward if you like. And at that point, I thought, you know, if I could learn what she knows, and then add my business skills there, I can really help women like me create lives that they designed for themselves rather than being told how to love and so it's been a journey.

Tiffany:
I always feel like you know, there's a saying that says you know, calm seas never make for a skilled sailor. And it's often in those times of real challenge that you uncover your own gift or your own purpose and the real drive that comes from having to get it done when you are making a big life shift like that, and have kids to support and whatnot in those times, it's always a real challenge. I reflect back and I don't even know I've ever shared it on the podcast. But I did get divorced at one time, after two kids had two small kids and have remarried and have a wonderful family and whatnot. Now, there were some trying times there for sure when you have young children and bills to pay, and only so many hours in the day, so I definitely understand the transformation that happens in those moments. So you go through this period and find this gift. So tell me a little bit more about, you know, how people are really designing their life. That was a key point that you mentioned, and I'm intrigued.

Daphne:
Yeah, so now, you know, all these years down the track, I've added more tools into my tool belt, right more ways that I can bring together and really brought together a process so what how I work with clients, so it's a Mac self coaching, mix of numerology. So through numerology, I work with pay theory and numerology and also Book of Life, numerology. And through that we can really, we get into your energetic DNA, and really figure out how you are wired energetically with the purpose that you came to Earth in this lifetime to fulfill as part of your soul's growth. And so once we really get clear on that, we can then figure out well, how do you want to apply that given what you love doing, given your skills, given the life you want to create for your family? What does that look like? And then we create a sustainable business for each woman that is uniquely hers, right?

Tiffany:
Incredible. I don't know much about numerology. So why don't you give us you know, basically the elevator spiel on what is numerology for those that you know, have heard the term but maybe don't know anything more about it than that.

Daphne:
Okay, so numerology as Bice, on your date of birth, that's all we need is the day you were born. Right. And from that we can calculate using Pythagoras when we calculate your personality, that is your personality that you came to Earth in this lifetime worth, how you view the world, the lens that you see the world through, and how you respond to challenges in life. And it really is, when I do that reading with women, it's like, they get to really settle into who they are. Because the thing is that we come into this world, energetically coded, like I talked about that as your energetic DNA. So there's the max of that, that is your personality, that is your birth code. We also, through Book of Life numerology, which is based on the deck of playing cards, the 52 card deck that we all know and love, you have a birth card. And that is essentially, your sole agreement that you've come to earth in this lifetime, the work that you're here to do, essentially, I like to think about is, we're a bunch of souls running around, when are we coming back to Earth, and we kind of agree to this job description, if you like for our life, as an what we are here to do to help mankind to move forward. And we come into the world as these babies are perfectly wired. And then we are shaped and molded. And we know from human development, that we are sponges, especially in those first seven years of life, we believe and accept anything that we are told anything we feel in it, we just believe it's true. And so we forget who we really are here to be. And then we come to this point in life, which is why I tend to work with women and that midlife from 39 through to 65. Because there's a lot of if you think about it, we've got lots of different cycles of energy that have going on inside of us. Energy Works and movement, right? So it's always cycling, it's always spiraling. And it's changing as it does. And so we come to this point in life, we've done a whole lot. We've grown a whole lot. We've learned a whole lot. And then it's like, well, why am I here? You know, and we all come to that point in life. And society tells us it's a midlife crisis. And it's not a crisis. So why am I here? It's like we're really questioning you know, there's more to life than this what it is that.

Tiffany:
Yeah, there's definitely this you know, life shaped some of who you are and what you become. And often it's kind of stripping that out is what you're saying is going back to really what it was.

Daphne:
So often we know like, we really know who we are, and we push for it as children, like, energetically wired to be a leader to lead other people right to. And as a child, anytime I stuck my hand up, you know, to, you know, this is a new way we could do this. How about we try this that was shut down. It had to be done the way it had always been done, right? And so you kind of grow up, I grew up thinking, well, no one wants to listen to me. Nothing I say is important. None of my ideas are important. You know, I'm an alchemist. I'm an idea generator. And yet none of my ideas were accepted as a child. So we kind of shut that down. And yet there's this frustration. So for me, when I received my first Numerology reading, I was like, huh, this is who I am, and no one can tell me who I am anymore. Right. And I love working with clients, when I share the readings with them. I see the same and then that's now I get to be and all starts to make sense. That makes sense. Yeah. And the other thing I really love about numerology is it's not situational. You know, lots of personality tests that we take. And I know I've taken a lot over the years. And for me, and for a lot of people that I speak to, we sometimes question the answers we get, like, Am I really that qualified, answered the questions in a different way than I've gotten a different answer. And so with numerology, because it's based only on your date of birth, there's no question that it is what it is.

Tiffany:
Right? Is it based on your date of birth? Or is it based on when you were due? How does that work? If someone I'm thinking of my own children, and you know, they had a cesarean section? So, it was planned early. So in that instance, in numerology, is it based on when they were born, or when they were the day they were born? And tended to be born

Daphne:
Now either dead airborne one? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Because dates are really based like the calculated by doctors, midwives, based on really that, presuming aren't they that we all have the same links, menstrual cycles that we would have conceived on this particular day? And amongst that, like, it's all based on predicted outcomes? Yeah. So the actual day you were born, because your children were born by C section. There's a reason they were born on that day. Right? Okay. That's what the medical profession said. They were destined to be born the day they were born.

Tiffany:
So you've obviously worked with a number of women doing this? What are some of the biggest shifts that you've seen where people have thought that they needed to do one thing? And then, you know, through learning this about themselves, how they've made like a big shift that they've really felt obviously more aligned with? What kind of shifts are you seeing?

Daphne:
Shifts that I'm seeing a woman coming to me, like, you know, they're obviously really, really skilled, know what they're doing. And yet they feel like what they're doing isn't important. They don't know why they're here. They don't know how they help people. And yet, it is all there. So when we have one woman, one woman recently came to me, and she was like, I don't even know what I do. You know, I feel like I don't do anything. And yet, she was making really good money. She was and yet she didn't feel fulfilled. So we worked together, and really worked, identified her purpose, looked at how she could create a life that didn't feel like work for her, that she was having fun doing what she was doing. And now she's off flying, right. She's just out there doing what she loves to do. Because she feels really confident in that. So gone from I don't know, what I do, nothing I do is valuable to anyone to Whoa, this is how I help people, you know, which then means that these women are helping way more people than they were able to in the past.

Tiffany:
Right? Yeah, fulfillment is a funny thing when I was, you know, really towards the end of my time in corporate and going through that, you know, like, Should I leave, Should I not leave, like I just wasn't feeling fulfilled. I was very pregnant with my third and decided at that point that my mission to fulfill was that I was going to take that opportunity to go back to school and do my master's. There. I am super pregnant. I'm not a good pregnant person. So you know, very pregnant with my third and now doing my MBA and still working. Getting and you know that that wasn't the answer, obviously, you know, fast forward to now. And I have my MBA, however, I also left corporate and found something that I found more fulfilling. But it's interesting when you feel that something is really missing, and you're kind of like, what do I need to do to fill it? And I laugh because my husband is so supportive. But I said, you know, that might have been a time to say, No, this seems like a questionable idea. But you know, and as I was doing my final dissertation, at the end of last year, it was like, over the summer, and I was like, I'm so close to the end. And I said to him, I thought, you know, this was really a crazy mission that I decided and the timing, I always wanted to do my masters. I knew that, but I didn't think the timing was the questionable piece here. And he said, Well, you know, I, you seem very adamant. And I always want to support your goals. So I said, well, sometimes you need to just say, No, it was, you know, I was like, in that moment, but it was this drive for, you know, I think this is what I want to do. It was what I wanted to do, but the timing clearly was, you know, driven by a quest for fulfillment that maybe was misplaced.

Daphne:
Yeah, and that's an interesting one, isn't that really, you know, and when I work with women, what we do is put together, like a framework that gives them all of these gives them filters that they can really easily figure out if a choice is right for now. If it's for them, if it's for now, if it's for later, or if it's an inspiration that they've received, that they're to share with somebody else, you know, so like you doing your masters, was now the right time when you were heavily pregnant? Yes, you were unfulfilled? Was that the thing you needed to feel fulfilled? Right? So you know, that we come up with filters that you can work through, right? To figure out what is right for you? And when is right for you.

Tiffany:
Yes, I often say to clients, it's not a no, it's not right now. And sometimes, you know, because sometimes we have to say no, about a decision whether you're going to move a direction in your business or not, no is very final, you know, it's like, well, I don't want to just write it off completely. Oftentimes, people have an idea. And so sometimes the matter is just, you know, writing it down in the long term list and saying, Hey, let's reevaluate this, you know, in six months, and decide if it still looks like a good idea. And I think some of that stems back from my decision to just hey, maybe, you know, maybe it should have been or not right now, at this point. I mean, I was so happy to be finished. And interestingly, when I started my undergraduate degree, I had no kids. So I did my first four years of university and had two kids during that time, and then did my masters with being pregnant and having the third and so you know, at this point, I'm all done having children, and for now all done school. And so now, it's really like this place of just new opportunity. You know, someone actually said to me recently, I don't know how you have time to record a podcast. And as well, I used to do homework. And now I don't do homework anymore. So now I can do the podcast.

Daphne:
Podcast. Yeah, I thought you're filling it with something else, because you've got time. Yeah, online is an interesting one. I went to university when I had four children, because I hadn't gone straight out of school. And then in my day of having children in New Zealand, there was no child care. So you gave up work to have children. And then I thought, I need something more than what I had to get back into the workforce. So I did degrees with four children.

Tiffany:
There is something to be said about the determination that makes that happen. Because having gone through, there are moments you know, and you get the I don't know how you do it. And I always say I don't, you're just doing it, there is really no option at that point, once you've committed to doing something and said, I'm gonna finish this. I mean, there isn't really, you know, there is no giving up. Eventually, and this one, particularly we do these things, you know, and, and we do remember being very pregnant with my second and having an exam and the professor who was a woman who I almost made it, it almost made it worse that it was a woman and she would not let me go to the bathroom during the exam. And I was so pregnant, and I thought I was going to pee on the floor. Like you're not getting it. I cannot. And I just don't even remember that I just wanted to get through the exam. And she was like, nope, absolutely not. And I'm like, oh my god, I just remember the discomfort and just thinking I literally lady, you'd not get it. I'm gonna be on the floor. Whoa, that was a hash. Yes. Yeah, in that moment, and then you're like, Okay, well, no one else is allowed to go to the bathroom. So here we are. But you know, it was definitely one of those moments of just determination to get through because again, you know, once you're in it, you're in it. So just keep going.

Daphne:
And when you think about it, that determination to get through is a really good example for children.

Tiffany:
Hmm? Yes. Yes. It's interesting as you know, kids are, My oldest is now nine. So you know, getting into the point where the school is definitely getting more challenging and homework and things and anytime she, you know, starts grumbling about homework or anything and I say I've been there I did I and she's like, I know you did a lot of years of school. And I said, Yep, so just keep going. Because you are not even part of the way through, keep going.

Daphne:
Yeah, and that's a really good example of mom can do home, I can go to school, I can do it, too.

Tifany:
Yes, yes, there was definitely some grumbling. In my house, though. My son seemed to think that because I had been to university and was still going to school, he said to my husband, you know, mom is just way smarter than you because she's still going to school. And my husband's like, I don't know about that. And he was just adamant, like you could see, and he without a shadow of a doubt was like, Nope, she is clearly smarter, because she's still going to school, and what do you even know?

Daphne:
So going to school makes you smarter? Don't you just love it?

Tiffany:
I mean, he was six, and six. That was just, he's like, you could correct him. And I said, maybe one day? You saw it.

Daphne:
Yeah, I'd have left it for now to be honest.

Tiffany
Totally. You gotta, you know, rock that mom being the superhero for when you can? Because I'm sure there will be times that that will not be the case.

Daphne:
Oh, especially with a son, there will be times when that is not the case.

Tiffany:
Right. Right. So you go through this numerology part and the framework? And so what does the transformation process look like? What is the implementation of some of these pieces to take it from, you know, the ideology and framework and learning and into the implementation stage.

Daphne:
So into the implementation stage, a lot of it is around the practical tools, like, you know, what are the three things that you need to do every day? What are the must dues? Or what do I call those tasks that need done every day? And really getting really refined about the and what are the minimum numbers? And how long do they take and doing like a time audit of your data of ideally a week so that then you can look at what you are? Where is your time going? Where does it need to go? What's really important, and then restructuring that? Along with your priorities?

Tiffany:
Right? Yeah, a time audit can be so revealing about so much in your life and business. I think we spend so much time often being inefficient jumping from task to task, or something takes so much longer than you even know, in your mind. I know that when we started tracking time, when we started doing services that required us to track time within our agency. And we were tracking time very specifically. I found it very interesting, because some things were very, you know, onpoint with the time that you're estimating, but other things often go much longer. And you know, keeping track and recognizing where that time is going in your business is very key.

Daphne:
Oh, that's an exception, okay. And also some things take surprisingly less time than you think. And yet, you don't necessarily like those tasks. So for my time, too, it's a matter of what actually needs done in your business? And what do you want to do with that? You know, what are the tasks that drain you energetically? And which of those would you be better off delegating to somebody else? Right? So where is that line, where do you need to pass a task over to somebody else?

Tiffany:
Right? Yes, it can be very interesting that how much time and like you said, sometimes things take less, if it's something that you're unsure of how to do, or you don't like doing sometimes in our mind, we end up you know, making it into a bigger problem than it often is. I was working with a client who, you know, she's come so far in her tech journey. When she started, she didn't know how to do any of this. I don't do tech, I don't do these things. And you know, over time, yesterday, we were working through some stuff, and she was just going in so productive. And I said, I just wanted to take a moment and just recognize how far you've come. And we were learning this new piece. And she's like, that's it. It's done. I said, I know you. I said you were worrying about this all week thinking like, oh my goodness, there's this piece and it's not done. And in a matter of an hour, it was all done and wrapped up. And I said take that moment to truly celebrate the journey if you know how far you've come in some of these things. And she said, I feel so much more empowered in my business, to be able to just jump in and do these things when I need them done. And not be so just like I wasn't afraid of them, but I definitely just kind of avoided them.

Daphne:
Right. And there's that fear of the unknown. And you know, one client I've worked with recently doesn't like being committed to doing things at certain times or to doing things every day. So When we got really down to what she needed to do, and her business every day, should make it function and to do the key pieces she needed to do. It was about 15 minutes a day. In her head, she was making it the big thing. I have to do this every time. Does it matter when you do it during the day? So, you know, as long as it gets done every day, is that job off site? Yeah, of course it does, you know, and it just changed that whole concept of it for her that 15 minutes a day. Yeah, that makes me that much money, I can do that every day.

Tiffany:
Mm hmm. There's also the piece where you need to if something has been left on done, and you're behind, there's the catch up, which is often way more time consuming than the actual, like ongoing maintenance once you're caught up. And so sometimes people are like, I can't dedicate this much time to it, but what they're actually looking at is just the cleanup. So it's like you've avoided the task for the last six months. Now we need to get bookkeeping. It is a big one for this. And so you know, people have not done the bookkeeping. And so all of a sudden, they have this mountain of paperwork that they need to get through. And they're like, I can't dedicate myself to something ongoing, I can't do that. It's like, no, no, if we actually break this down, it's just a couple of hours a month, once we're caught up, but we have to get there. And so sometimes it's making the plan to get to that caught up stage. Because the maintenance is significantly less overwhelming than that original, you know, looking at the mountain of paperwork, thinking, I just don't know how to fit this in.

Daphne:
Yeah, yeah, and making an appointment with yourself. So jobs like that, you know, making an appointment with yourself, each week, or each month or each fortnight to do that paperwork. You know, and for a lot of people, we often find that like Friday afternoon, when you're not necessarily still feeling creative, allocating a half an hour or an hour to do that paperwork. And if there's nothing you can do, then that's great. And if there is, that means that you're keeping up to date with that, right, so that it doesn't get to that catch up stage. Again, it's keeping on top of those important tasks, or deciding that somebody else does it for you.

Tiffany:
Right, yes, and often, you know, people assume something like bookkeeping, it'd be really expensive to have outsourced and to provide just care, I'm just not there yet. But they, you know, there's this piece of well, but someone who is experienced is often significantly more efficient than you. So it's not always as big a challenge and as expensive as you might think. And so, you know, I always advocate for knowledge is power and learning what you know, even if you're not ready quite yet, if you know something that in the near future you want to delegate, find out what that's going to cost, find out how much time it's going to take so that you can be ready to make that informed decision when you know whether it's resources or time or money aligned for that to be delegated or outsource elsewhere.

Daphne:
Because then you know that if you're not ready now, when you are ready, you know what you're up against, right? You know, what it's going to cost you and what you need to have in place. Because before you delegate you actually need to know, kind of touched on before. Where does that line come from? Where you say you're creating something in your business, which is what my clients are often doing, right? And they get to a certain point where I don't want to do any of that stuff. So what do you need at that point? To be able to pass it on to somebody else, you need to know exactly how you want them to set it up, you need to know what they're to do before you even know who it is that you're looking for to do that task for you.

Tiffany:
Right, right. Absolutely. So if you had one tangible tip for someone to implement into their business this week that they would see immediately, what would that be?

Daphne:
Really know the key tasks that you need to do and your business each day and allocate time for them. And I always recommend using Google Calendar, because once you put a time slot only for something, then you can move it, you know, it doesn't drag it or else if it doesn't fit right. And really getting clear about those things, what your priorities are, you know, those it's easy if you know that a maximum of three priorities fit you. Because otherwise it becomes overwhelming. Yes, you can have a big I'd like to do list. Don't look at that every day. Look at those three things that you are committed to getting done today.

Tiffany:
Right, right. Yeah, otherwise sometimes just the sheer volume of things to do becomes overwhelming and then you get stuck in that which to go first what is the most important what is Yeah, yeah,

Daphne:
And like I say you can have that bagless we all need that bag less. However, what are the three things you need to do today?

Tiffany:
Yes. So if people want to learn more about, you know, numerology and going through this transformation, where can they connect with you?

Daphne:
How can they connect with me probably easiest through my website, definitely wiles.com. Or if you want to know what your best coders and have we towed up into numerology, pop on over to gift from destiny.com is a free gift that will help you calculate your birth code, which is that first thing we look at, and give you a little glimpse of yourself.

Tiffany:
Interesting. I know that I'm gonna pop on over there and check it out myself.

Daphne:
Do it.

Tiffany:
Thank you so much for being here, Daphne. It's been very interesting. And I love learning about new things and the journey that people go through to find their offer to the world and whatnot. So thank you so much for being here. It's been fantastic.

Daphne:
Thank you for having me. Well,

Tiffany:
We are all out of time for today. If you guys have not joined the surface based business society, Facebook community, make sure you head on over to Facebook and we can continue the conversation. Be sure to also follow the show by going to any podcast app and searching surface based business society. Click subscribe, click the fifth star and leave us a written review. Have a great week and we will see you soon