Service Based Business Society Podcast

Season: 2
Episode: 19
Title: Starting a step at one

Hello, and welcome to the service based business society podcast. I'm your host, Tiffany-Ann-Bottcher. At our weekly episodes, we will dig into everything you need to know about scaling your service based business without losing sleep. With my experience in creating over seven figures per month, and a passion for marketing, finance and automation, this show will provide tangible tips and techniques for scaling your business. Let's get started.

Tiffany:
Hello, everyone. Welcome back. You know, a couple of years ago, I left my corporate job. I was a business partner at that business. I had been there for a long time and had built a huge team that I loved very, very much. And so when I made the decision to leave and start my own journey of entrepreneurship, that was a big decision. And so you know, when I saw this next guest's information, I thought, hey, this hits really close to home, and I knew I had to have her on.

Tiffany:
So today we're going to be talking with Christen N. James, also known as CJ. She is a side hustle coach and host of the shine to five method for side hustlers podcast. She's a certified life skills coach. She's a certified master mindset coach, Reiki practitioner, and she has a BA in psychology and the certification in solution focused therapy. She created the Shine To Five Method coaching system to help women identified professionals push past mediocrity and challenge the status quo so they can shine in their own business. So you know, this hits close to home for me, and I cannot wait to introduce you to Cristian. And here she is. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. It's so great to have you here. CJ.

Christen:
I am excited to be in a chat with you today. Thanks for having me.

Tiffany:
You know, I've been checking out your bio and whatnot. I was recording the intro and this topic resonates with me so much. I left, you know, corporate a couple of years ago now. And that was one of the biggest decisions I would say of my life actually. And as someone who's in my second marriage, I can say it was bigger than that. It was bigger than the first. And so yeah, like I was like, Oh, I was like this is a huge topic. So tell me, how did you get into this space, because it's fairly specific.

Christen:
It is very specific, I want to say because I too, went through the experience of going from the nine to five into a transition into being an entrepreneur. And one thing I will say that I took away from being in the corporate nine to five spaces, I thoroughly enjoyed being able to coach my team, I was able to coach my employees, it was a favorite thing. So once I broke free of my nine to five and tried to decide what direction I would take my coaching business, and I always knew that I wanted to support women identified professionals through that transition, because like you just said like it's a bigger thing than deciding to leave a marriage, right? It's like,you will transition and I know that I could not have done it without the support of a coach. I couldn't admit that all the time. So I want to be able to provide that support and validation for women who are really trying, they're on the cusp of leaving, they can't quite see that I want to be able to push them so they can follow through on it.

Tiffany:
Yeah, that comfort zone is a funny thing. I often say I haven't seen my comfort zone since I left corporate because corporate was cozy. I had been there for a long time, over a decade, I, you know, started working while I was in, you know, maybe my second year of my undergraduate degree, I started working in an office setting. I remember, you know, when I was working in a bar to pay to go through school and whatnot, and I started working in the office job and I thought, oh, man, it's gonna take me a long time to start making as much as I make serving drinks. Like it was this piece of like, it was all part of the journey. But you know, what became cozy and you know, you work through different positions and different teams. And like you said, you know, it's coaching a team. And there were some parts of it that were so fulfilling and rewarding, which is why it was such a hard decision to leave. So it's all such a huge journey and change, such a change.

Christen:
Yeah, yeah, I love that you said it's a journey. For some it feels like a process. But I do like to use the word true. Sounds gentler, sounds nicer. But I feel like one of the things that I don't know, if you most likely can resonate with this is we feel like once we're making this decision to leave our cushy nine to five jobs and hopefully, I know most of us have been very comfortable. Some of us not so much. But to leave the cushy nine to five you feel like you have to have all of your ducks in a row. You have to have this done, that done and that done. And then once you leave, and I before I leave, I gotta make sure I do this. And before I leave, I gotta make sure. And it's just like, Okay, you just have to make the decision that you want to commit to that decision and just take small steps in the direction. You see it on the horizon, if you will, and you know you're heading in that direction. That's all that really matters, because that's where we will tend to retreat back into wanting to stay comfortable. I'm not, this is too much, I'm too overwhelmed. I can't do it. I might as well just stay here, when there's so much more that you want and can and should be doing. And I'm just here to champion everyone to get into making it to that horizon.

Tiffany:
Yeah, it's interesting. I think I probably talked about it for like a year and a half before even maybe even longer before I did it, because you do start to like, well, but what about this? Oh, what about that, and you come up with these kinds of, like mental excuses. And really, it's not just not just leaving, you know, corporate that really anything. Starting a business, changing your business, you know, changing a relationship, anytime, where you're like, Ah, I want change. But do I want to give up what I have, it's like this year, and I think if you're a little more risk averse, and you're like, I know, it's kind of that double, you know, versus who, and so people just, I think I'm gonna stay comfortable. I'm just gonna stay where I am.

Christen:
Yeah, because we are wired, we are wired to resist change. We are wired to want to stick to the familiar and to stay comfortable, and to crave that stability. So anytime, something challenges that and we see the possibility for change, and our initial reaction is always like, but what do I have to, when, it's so much, because it's easier, it's easier to just stay comfortable, and, but nothing worth it comes easily. And we just have to remember that as corny. And as cliche as it sounds, nothing worth it really does come easily. But we are definitely wired to want to say resist it; to say this doesn't feel that kind of fight or flight tendency we have to tend to gravitate to so we want to say, no thanks. So it's really about pushing through that, accepting that, I'm going to have to get used to some change. And with that change will come a lot of growth, and a lot of discomfort, but it'll be worth it in the end.

Tiffany:
Yeah, I think that there's often and I've talked about it on the podcast a few episodes ago, when we were kind of coming up to New Year, there's always this kind of like, Oh, next year, we'll be different. And it'll be amazing. And, you know, you see these posts kind of in December, and then you see these posts kind of at the end of January, oh my goodness. 2023 is exactly the same as 23 do and oh, this is not good. And, and there's kind of in your mind, you set these things that are like, Ooh, you know, after this date, it's going to be great. And it really is a journey. And so sometimes, you know, it works out that way. And sometimes it doesn't. And I think we have to kind of trust the process and keep going, you know, if you don't like what's happening, you have to keep going. Because you know, nothing changes in exactly the spot that you are.
Christen:
Exactly, exactly. And I always like to remind people whenever I hear them say that when waiting for the right time. So it's not time yet because we both probably use that line, just an excuse. But I'm waiting for the right time. It's, you know, everything will work out when it's supposed to work. But all I have to do this, dismiss this. I'm like, you're waiting for the right time. But time isn't waiting for you. Time keeps on ticking, time keeps on doing its thing. It's not like time says oh, you're not ready yet. You should have said that. Oh, wait, I'll be here when you're ready. So as much as we want to know, put things off and wait till the right time that we have to accept that. Those really are excuses. And it's just doing one little thing, just one little thing to get you closer to you know, heading towards that horizon. Just one thing per day. That's all it takes.

Tiffany:
Yeah, it's interesting, because you do whether it's time, I think the other one for people who are leaving corporate, depending on their different salary, peace is not just time it is also money. And so you know, you're leaving financial stability. And so it's very interesting. In the online space, I really see these two distinct groups of people. And one is the people who started their business because they wanted to pay for a family vacation, they wanted to help get out of debt, they you know, and so they started something, and it turned into something massive, and they didn't necessarily start out with that plan. But they got started with this intention of like, Oh, I just want to make a little bit. And then you have this other distinct group of people who are leaving, you know, the corporate world or leaving, you know, working for someone else, or however, and they're coming with this, okay, well, I make X dollars. And now I need to replace x dollar within X number of days. And I think that that is an entirely different spot to start from because you start almost with this pressure of like, okay, well I need to like I have this financial gap that needs to be closed in a certain timeframe.

Christen:
In a certain time frame yet, and that's the thing and a certain timeframe. So even as you are adjusting to one day, hopefully soon, being a full time entrepreneur or being your own boss, you give yourself enough of that space in that time to say, Okay, well this is how much I make. This is how much I need. This is my debt to my expenses and all the other risks, financial responsibilities, and we got to get comfortable. That's the other thing too, we got to get comfortable with looking at our numbers, and all the icky stuff. For some of us, it doesn't come naturally for all of us to do that. But really getting comfortable with looking at your numbers and being able to when you set an income goal, you know, how many products or services that you need to sell in order to make a profit? And what are you supplementing in your income in order to be able to replace what you'll be leaving behind? Once you leave the stability of a nine to five, but absolutely, time and money are usually the biggest reasons slash excuses that most if not all of us, do stick around in that nine to five setting longer than I stayed five years longer than I wanted to, I really had to work up to. And then even at that point, I willed mine into, the universe had to intervene for me, because I spoke it into existence, I'm big on the law of attraction, even especially after my experience of saying, I'd really love to get laid off. I mean, awesome. I'd love to get my package, and I can do this, and I can and that's exactly what happened. But that's not the case for me. And they did offer me another position. I was like,this is my opportunity, I'm gonna have to take it, I'm gonna have to decline. But that's not necessarily the case for each person that they need to have to really make that decision. Get used to, get into the habit of doing the things that you feel like will set you up for success when you become an entrepreneur. And if money, time freedom, and then the money freedom and financial freedom are the two things well, we have to get used to better managing our time, because we're going from being in a nine to five setting where things are essentially laid out. For us. It's nine to five, right? So we're going from being able to better manage your time, and also have finances and set realistic income goals with it, too.

Tiffany:
Yeah, you know, my nine to five was never so nine to five, it was more like seven to 10 at times, which was one of the reasons I left. I have three young kids and really want to spend more time with them. But you know, even in my current role, I would say I've worked significantly more than 9 to 5.

Christen:
Right? Yeah. And I think I think that's a me problem. You know, it's like, you just it really depends on I think, well, I love my business. So what's wrong with it?

Tiffany:
And you know, I actually was talking to my husband recently. And you know, he also works too much. And so, you know, we have separate offices, and we'll text and say like, Hey, are you almost done? And it's like, you know, like 11 or 11:30? Hey, like, are we in a little bit longer, a little bit longer. And so we've been really trying to make a conscious effort to be finished a little earlier, because it's easy when you're, you know, invested in something and you're working away that you just kind of like, all of a sudden you're like, oh, no, it happens to me all the time I look up and I'm like, Oh my gosh, it's one o'clock in the morning.

Christen:
Why is it so dark out? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But you're doing what you love too, so sometimes it doesn't even feel like work. But you know, we need to set our own boundaries for ourselves. Like we talk about boundaries, and, uh, usually external boundaries, there's internal lines as well, we got to be able to see, girl Come on, you know, you need sleep as much work. So, time to tap out.
Tiffany:
I know, it's one of those things. But it was one of the things that you know, I was like, Oh, I work less time freedom. And really, it's like, but your habits your some of your habits are established by years of, you know, doing things one way and you have to really decide, like, if something is important to you for a change, it's really taking that time to be like, Okay, I want to work less, this is the time I'm going to frame it in. You know, it's like if you have a small purse, you have a small amount of clutter. But when you have a big purse, you have a big amount of clutter, like if you don't frame it, the clutter gets bigger. And so I think the same thing happens with time as well as if you aren't actually saying I must be done by this time. You know? Yeah, then it can drag out.

Christen:
Yeah, yeah. And even like, I do my best to scheduling my breaks, you know, throughout the day, like you know, somebody will come up on my calendar like okay, right, get up and go step away from the computer for half an hour if you must, but you know, take a break because we do we need to we do all this to be more in control and then we just still give into to certain things but it's if if you enjoy it, it's hard but it's I really encourage like having those boundaries for yourself. Yeah, for you, you'll reward yourself. Self Care is super, super important. If you are not taking care of yourself, who's gonna take care of your business, right? So it comes down to Yeah, learning sometimes we think the hard way but learning that lesson as well.

Tiffany:
I think sometimes you have to be, I've spoken to a few entrepreneurs and they say everybody, you know, it's while I'm still working, but I don't want to say I'm working because I you know we're not supposed to it's time freedom and whatnot. And I think there's more people out there working, you know, the late nights and going that extra mile for their own business and I think it's an important discussion to have that it's okay to make those choices in short spurts. I always say, if you're working on a project, you're trying to close something up, wrap something up, whatever, you know, that's fine. But don't build your business based on you working 20 hours a day, because that's unsustainable.

Christen:
Yeah, I'm working tirelessly and, and also taking the time to celebrate those small wins and how far you've come. And when you set the goal, and you accomplish it, actually taking a moment to say, Okay, I did that this is awesome. Because also, we're so driven to be successful, because we've left our nine to five, we've left the stability, we've left, the predictability and all of that. So now it's like, I have to succeed, I have to do this thing, I have to set these goals, I have to accomplish. But so we don't take that moment to say, Oh, wow, like, I really accomplished that before we're on to the next thing or on to the next thing. And okay, what's next? What do I need to do now? What do I need to accomplish? Now? I got Check, check, check. Okay, item number four on the lesson, just pause, pause for a moment, celebrate and look at, because there was a time when you wanted it to be exactly where you are at that moment. So take a moment to appreciate where you are, and say I did that because I committed to so and so I focused on blah, blah, blah, I set X amount of goals, or I wanted to accomplish this thing. And I work towards it. And here I am, I should really take that moment to celebrate it. And that's when we really realize how far we've come. Because it's not until I look back. And it was like a year ago. Oh, wow. Okay, I've done a lot. I love those little moments. I've come a long way. So we might take that moment too.

Tiffany:
But you're so right, that it's easy to skip over, it's easy to skip over. And you kind of come back to that comment you made about you know, the numbers. And some, you know, a lot of people don't lean into that. And so sometimes, you know, when you're not looking at some of the numbers or some of the markers, it's easy to kind of get lost in the journey and not realize how far you've come and take those moments to celebrate. Because, you know, when you have your own business, whether it's side hustle, or you know, you've taken this full time step into entrepreneurship, or whatever that is, you know, it's not, no one else is coming to celebrate it for you. You really have to take those moments.

Christen:
Yeah, yeah, no one else is. And these are your goals. These are your accomplishments. And on the topic of no one else, when I'm speaking of goal setting tangent, but not so much. When we set goals for our businesses, what I have observed with working with my clients, I may have done this at some point early on in my business as well. We set the wrong goals. For our business, we set goals based on what someone else did in their business, or we look at someone else's accomplishments and say, Well, you know, if I do this, this dismisses that I can have accolades that this person has, and we need to be aligned with our values. And our goals need to be aligned with our values as well. And we need to acknowledge like, am I setting the right goals, these goals make sense for me? Are they aligned with my values, so that when I actually do get the results, and I'm taking the moment and pausing to celebrate and pausing to reflect, I'm actually happy with the results is not just about getting results in your business, it's about getting the right results in a business, so that you feel good, and you feel successful. And you feel like you are defining your own success by setting the right goals, you don't want to measure your success on someone else's scale, if you will, like what worked for Person A will not work for you. And that's not how it's supposed to be. But I know that some of us tend to get caught up on that success train, and wanting to be successful, and successful and success and success. So taking a moment to say what success looks like, and feel like and what does it mean, to me so I can define it my way.

Tiffany:
I've talked about it a number of times, and I feel so passionately about you know, you go online, and the loudest voices are the ones who are sharing their success, not always, you know, and not always the full picture. And I love the move away from like, if you go back to Instagram, you know, maybe a year and a bit ago, everything was so perfect. It was like the focus was on Instagram, perfect life and whatnot. And now we've gotten we've taken this turn and you know, if you like Tiktok and YouTube shorts and stuff it's all significantly more vulnerable. It's more real. But what you still have is people who are selling based on their results, they're selling, you know, not the bridge to get somewhere but they're selling this motivational destination. And so they're saying, Hey, I sold a million dollars. Now nowhere in there are they talking about what it costs them to sell that million dollars. No, where are they saying, Hey, I was profitable selling a million dollars. They're saying hey, I have a screenshot here of my Stripe account. And it shows that people paid me a million dollars. Well, that's great. That's amazing. But there's so many more pieces to that recipe. And you know, one of the things if we go back, you know, to the comma club, that's like the, you know, click funnels, comma Club Award people, you know, and less. So people are like posting these things, I think just because Click Funnels has become slightly less popular, but, you know, it's like, you've got all these people who are winning these awards, and it's like, okay, but if it cost you, you know, 999,000 to sell a million dollars, like, Is that worth celebrating? But of course, that's not the part that's always shown. And so, you know, people are like, oh, this person got started in their business, and they got this press opportunity, or they got, you know, look, they're selling all of these hundreds of 1000s of dollars, and, but there's all these things that go on behind the scenes. And so, you know, there's this comparison. And so the people who are struggling are not sharing that online, typically, I mean, a few, if you're looking in the right places, but for the most part, people don't share the struggle, they don't share the like, Oh, my goodness, I'm having second thoughts, or the, you know, oh, my goodness, I left my super stable long term, you know, paycheck to do this, and it's not working. Right. And so, you know, and so I think it's always, you know, really looking at your own and when you're saying setting, you know, defining success for you is so important.

Christen:
Hmm, I love that you brought that up, because it really does make you because I hear that a lot and with because I mean, it's so easy to compare ourselves and social media makes it even easier for us to compare ourselves and, and it's, you know, just actively being mindful of not comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter 10. Okay, great. You made six figures, seven figures. Awesome, I am so excited for you, you will one day be there and no, just speaking to a client, for example, you will one day be there. But however they want they're not sharing, like you said, is, I made six figures, but I actually spent five or like how much ever to get to the point of making six. So how much was that? What did you actually profit with the six figures? And I know for myself that I do not shy away from sharing when things are hard. And I'm always the one of the first to say, Listen, entrepreneurship is hard. It is not for the faint at heart. It is not. I mean, yes, the hard work does pay off, and you will feel rewarded. And sometimes a lot of times people, when they're leaving their nine to five, that's one of the things they crave. They want to be rewarded for their hard work. But there are times in entrepreneurship, yes, we do get rewarded for hard work. But it takes a lot of work to get there. A lot of times, things are things that will not work, the things that will not make sense, we our businesses will evolve, we will evolve with our businesses, what you wanted to do in year one will not make sense in year three, and that's okay. What was important to you in year one may not necessarily be important for you in year three, and that's okay. But really being able to take the downs with the UPS. And I find that especially on social media, entrepreneurship is glorified as this thing. It's so incredible. It's so amazing. You should be an entrepreneur, not everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, and everybody wants to be a full time entrepreneur. So it's really again, coming back to what do I want out of this? Like, why am I putting myself through this? And going on this journey and going through this experience? And where do I see myself in a year, three years, five years, to be able to really define our success. Because at the end of the day, like when you lay your head down on the pillow at night, and you're reflecting like, do things make sense for you? When you're looking back at an exercise I really enjoy, what I work on setting goal setting is picture yourself. It's 11pm on December 31, and you're reflecting on the year, how did that year go? How did your goals go? How are you feeling? I feel those are the important things to to make it a part of your journey and to personalize or customize your entrepreneurial experience, if you will.

Tiffany:
Absolutely. It's one of the you know, I do a lot of strategy sessions and work and it's, you know, where do you want this to go? Because, you know, everyone does have a different vision of you know, and some people it's very interesting, because you get these people who are coming into the entrepreneurship space, and they have this idea of what they want to do. But they really need the steps in order to get to that to get it going. And you know, I always talked about it's kind of like a snowball like you have to get it going and get some momentum and whatnot. And so it really is that let's decide what direction we want to push the snowball in. And then let's push because, you know, I have some people I've worked with that say, I want to make X dollars and work the least amount possible in order to do that. They don't want to make more than X dollars, they want to make X dollars, but they don't want to work very much. And then you have other people that are like I want to take over the world, I want this to go global, I want this to be massive, I want everything to be a household name, I want this to be giant. And so these are two different people. But if you just say like, you know, oh, we want to get success, and you don't have that conversation of what does success look like? Well, that's too varied. Both of those people think that is success. But there's so different that without that discussion, you know, you can't really offer any true advice or any strategy or any steps, because it's like, we need to first establish where are we going?

Christen:
Yeah, where are you going? What do you want out of it? Why do you want it? What do you want? I think one of the important things is what do you want people to know about you? Like, when you picture your best, your VIP customer or client leaving you a five star review? Like, what are they saying about you in this review? And are they saying what you hoped other people know about you, the things that you hope they know about you, where you really showing up in your business and for your business? How do you want to show up for your business, so you can define your success and feel successful when you're getting those five star reviews and as VIP clients or customers? Yeah.

Tiffany:
Yes, that kind of also makes me think one of the other questions when people usually at the idea stage is, you know, discussing kind of what are the hard nose? Because some people say like, I don't want to do any video. They don't do videos of themselves. And it's okay. Do we just not know about it yet? And we're willing to learn or is this a hard No? Because there are certain businesses, people come and say, like, Hey, I have this idea. And they're like, but I don't want to do this. And I don't want to do that. And this and this. And this. And I think that is a tough road without those things. Yeah, you know, it's like, there's certain things and I remember actually having a conversation with someone very early on in their business. And same thing, she's like, No, I don't want to be the face, I don't want to have, I just want to be in the background. And as she went on, and we went through, she actually was part of our year long mentorship program, she, you know, was really realizing, hey, like, this is making this a lot harder. And I said, you know, I know this is a hard line for you. But this would make such a difference in your business. Because your business started from your story, it's very linked to your story. It’s you know, you are part of what's going on here. And so in the end, she has really shifted and is making a solid effort to try and do new things and learn and really, you know, it's like anyone who's on Tiktok, or doing YouTube shorts, or reels or whatever. None of those people started with experience, they might have more experience now. But you know, nobody started with experience doing this. And so the willingness to try and show up for your business, and really decide, you know, it comes back to that being uncomfortable. And, you know, how many extra layers of difficulty Are you going to add by kind of adding in these like, Oh, I'm not willing to do that, or I'm not going to try that? Or, you know, entrepreneurship really does require an open mind. Because, you know, it's, you're all in on whatever you're working on.

Christen:
Right, Right. And like you said, at the very beginning of a convo it's also about, like trusting the process. And when people you know, once you're willing to try, you're doing right, you're taking something you're trying it but you're you are actually doing the thing. So with trying, it might not necessarily work out how you wanted it to work, or maybe you don't even know how it's gonna work. Or maybe you see A and then you're looking at Z and you're thinking, Okay, well, this is where I want it to be. I'm not sure of how it's gonna all work out. But you're trying. And I think that we have to also take a moment to say, I'm not just trying, I'm doing, I'm doing this thing. And however it goes, whatever is it I don't look at failure as failure. There are lessons and a lot because otherwise, in entrepreneurship is all about failure. It's a whole bunch of lessons. And a lot of lessons and I think that's the beautiful thing about entrepreneurship is you learn so much about yourself first and foremost, you learn so much about yourself. You learn so much about like your capabilities, you learn so much about the things that you weren't really given the opportunity to learn about if you were in a nine to five setting I've heard and I remember feeling like this people describe it as feeling like they're being placed in a box and they're not really able to explore really tap into their creativity. So now here you are, you are able to do these things you're trying and you're doing and it's whatever you make of it is what will come of it. And whatever you take away from it a lot of times yes. I don't even know how many times I have just said, I've just got to surrender. I've got to surrender to this process. I have done what I can. I'm doing my best. I planned it out, I carried out whatever steps it's unfolding, how it needs to unfold, how it's meant to unfold and, and just breathing through it to just trust the process. But know that when you are trying you are doing and you can learn so much about yourself. If something doesn't work, don't don't do it again, or try something different or sit back and really reflect on why it didn't work? Why did I want it to work? How can it work? Take it as an opportunity to it's always that teaching moment, it was an opportunity to learn. You just keep going. You just keep going.

Tiffany:
Just keep going. Yes, yeah, yes, it comes back to that if it's not working where you are, you have to keep going. It doesn't matter if you're going to change your path a little bit or whatever. But you know, just staying stationary and being like, well, this is not working. I'm uncomfortable, this is not good. But not continuing that forward motion, you have to keep that snowball moving. Because every time you stop, you know, I was talking to someone recently, and she got her business, her business is very successful. And then she had some health stuff. And then she kind of got her business going again. And then she had some family stuff. And then she kind of got her business going. And she said, Oh, it's like restarting again. And I said yes, but you have all of this back, you know, you have this you know all these different things that are going for you already you have people they know who you are, you have an email list, you have the Facebook community, you have all your like, just start, just keep going. Because you know, you've got some assurance right now it feels like starting over. And that's frustrating. But you know, you just got to get it rolling again, get that snowball rolling again. And, you know she was discouraged at first because she's like, you know, I used to be this or it was that. But you know, when she got it, you know, she really dove in for about three weeks and really was met with like, oh, this wasn't working. And then sure enough, you know, things start to get going again and nationally, well on our way back back to you know what she used to have, which is it's frustrating to get going again, but you know, that's life. And in the entrepreneurship journey, when you are your business, things do come up. Health, family, you know, change your plans, this or that. And so it really is that just keep going,

Christen:
Just keep going. And then even with starting it's and starting over or forward, I hear false starts because you know, you start something it didn't quite work, at least you're starting. Again, going back to doing and trying, right? At least you started. You made a decision and you're following through on something. And starting doesn't have to be anything grand. Starting doesn't have to be all my ducks in a row. I have all this many products and this many services and how many ever clients blah, blah, blah, starting to just be making the decision, sending an email, contacting someone just doing something that had happened again, taking you in as we're wrapping up, taking you in the direction of that horizon. That's just one step. I talk a lot about like, the zero to 100 mentality where it's like, oh my god, I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta, I gotta. And he's setting all these goals and your mindset zero, you're at zero and your mind at 100. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come meet me back at step one, please. Let's go through step one, then two, all the way to 99 You're ahead of yourself. What can you do now? What goals can you set now? What can you work on right now that realistically fits into your life and your lifestyle? And as long as you start? You're doing something? That's what matters.

Tiffany:
That's right. Yeah, that's right. So one tangible tip that someone could implement in their life. Today, that's going to help them with that quick win?

Christen:
Okay, so speaking of the overwhelm of setting goals, I always encourage people, when you set a goal and you have a desired outcome to reverse engineer, so you have created this ideal outcome. But asking yourself, What did I do to get to that step reverse engineer, so you have your big goal for the year, break that down into quarters, break that into each quarter, you break that down monthly each month, you break that down weekly each week, you break that down daily, so even with a week, even if it's one task a day, one thing a day, know that it is contributing to the big goal, reverse engineer asking yourself if I want to get there, what do I need to do today? To get to the end and not stay stuck on the end? And what can you realistically work on today? Yeah, cool. Just one thing?

Tiffany:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And CJ, where can people connect with you? What is the name of your podcast? I'll drop the link in the show notes. But tell us a little more. Where can people connect with you and keep working?

Christen:
I am on all social media. We're not all but you can find me on social media platforms at Christen and James. My podcast is called The Shine To Five Method. For side hustlers, Shine To Five method is my coaching system and anything shine to five is all CJ but connect me @Christen N James, ChristenNjames.com and we can take the conversation from there.

Tiffany:
Awesome. Well thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure having you. I've had so much fun chatting with you. Thank you for having me today. Well, we are all out of time for today. If you guys have not joined The Surface Based Business society Facebook community make sure you head on over to Facebook and we can continue the conversation be sure to also follow the show by going to any podcast app and searching surface based business society click subscribe click the fifth star and leave us a written review Have a great week and we will see you soon.
Season: 2
Episode: 19
Title: Starting a step at one

Hello, and welcome to the service based business society podcast. I'm your host, Tiffany-Ann-Bottcher. At our weekly episodes, we will dig into everything you need to know about scaling your service based business without losing sleep. With my experience in creating over seven figures per month, and a passion for marketing, finance and automation, this show will provide tangible tips and techniques for scaling your business. Let's get started.

Tiffany:
Hello, everyone. Welcome back. You know, a couple of years ago, I left my corporate job. I was a business partner at that business. I had been there for a long time and had built a huge team that I loved very, very much. And so when I made the decision to leave and start my own journey of entrepreneurship, that was a big decision. And so you know, when I saw this next guest's information, I thought, hey, this hits really close to home, and I knew I had to have her on.

Tiffany:
So today we're going to be talking with Christen N. James, also known as CJ. She is a side hustle coach and host of the shine to five method for side hustlers podcast. She's a certified life skills coach. She's a certified master mindset coach, Reiki practitioner, and she has a BA in psychology and the certification in solution focused therapy. She created the Shine To Five Method coaching system to help women identified professionals push past mediocrity and challenge the status quo so they can shine in their own business. So you know, this hits close to home for me, and I cannot wait to introduce you to Cristian. And here she is. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. It's so great to have you here. CJ.

Christen:
I am excited to be in a chat with you today. Thanks for having me.

Tiffany:
You know, I've been checking out your bio and whatnot. I was recording the intro and this topic resonates with me so much. I left, you know, corporate a couple of years ago now. And that was one of the biggest decisions I would say of my life actually. And as someone who's in my second marriage, I can say it was bigger than that. It was bigger than the first. And so yeah, like I was like, Oh, I was like this is a huge topic. So tell me, how did you get into this space, because it's fairly specific.

Christen:
It is very specific, I want to say because I too, went through the experience of going from the nine to five into a transition into being an entrepreneur. And one thing I will say that I took away from being in the corporate nine to five spaces, I thoroughly enjoyed being able to coach my team, I was able to coach my employees, it was a favorite thing. So once I broke free of my nine to five and tried to decide what direction I would take my coaching business, and I always knew that I wanted to support women identified professionals through that transition, because like you just said like it's a bigger thing than deciding to leave a marriage, right? It's like,you will transition and I know that I could not have done it without the support of a coach. I couldn't admit that all the time. So I want to be able to provide that support and validation for women who are really trying, they're on the cusp of leaving, they can't quite see that I want to be able to push them so they can follow through on it.

Tiffany:
Yeah, that comfort zone is a funny thing. I often say I haven't seen my comfort zone since I left corporate because corporate was cozy. I had been there for a long time, over a decade, I, you know, started working while I was in, you know, maybe my second year of my undergraduate degree, I started working in an office setting. I remember, you know, when I was working in a bar to pay to go through school and whatnot, and I started working in the office job and I thought, oh, man, it's gonna take me a long time to start making as much as I make serving drinks. Like it was this piece of like, it was all part of the journey. But you know, what became cozy and you know, you work through different positions and different teams. And like you said, you know, it's coaching a team. And there were some parts of it that were so fulfilling and rewarding, which is why it was such a hard decision to leave. So it's all such a huge journey and change, such a change.

Christen:
Yeah, yeah, I love that you said it's a journey. For some it feels like a process. But I do like to use the word true. Sounds gentler, sounds nicer. But I feel like one of the things that I don't know, if you most likely can resonate with this is we feel like once we're making this decision to leave our cushy nine to five jobs and hopefully, I know most of us have been very comfortable. Some of us not so much. But to leave the cushy nine to five you feel like you have to have all of your ducks in a row. You have to have this done, that done and that done. And then once you leave, and I before I leave, I gotta make sure I do this. And before I leave, I gotta make sure. And it's just like, Okay, you just have to make the decision that you want to commit to that decision and just take small steps in the direction. You see it on the horizon, if you will, and you know you're heading in that direction. That's all that really matters, because that's where we will tend to retreat back into wanting to stay comfortable. I'm not, this is too much, I'm too overwhelmed. I can't do it. I might as well just stay here, when there's so much more that you want and can and should be doing. And I'm just here to champion everyone to get into making it to that horizon.

Tiffany:
Yeah, it's interesting. I think I probably talked about it for like a year and a half before even maybe even longer before I did it, because you do start to like, well, but what about this? Oh, what about that, and you come up with these kinds of, like mental excuses. And really, it's not just not just leaving, you know, corporate that really anything. Starting a business, changing your business, you know, changing a relationship, anytime, where you're like, Ah, I want change. But do I want to give up what I have, it's like this year, and I think if you're a little more risk averse, and you're like, I know, it's kind of that double, you know, versus who, and so people just, I think I'm gonna stay comfortable. I'm just gonna stay where I am.

Christen:
Yeah, because we are wired, we are wired to resist change. We are wired to want to stick to the familiar and to stay comfortable, and to crave that stability. So anytime, something challenges that and we see the possibility for change, and our initial reaction is always like, but what do I have to, when, it's so much, because it's easier, it's easier to just stay comfortable, and, but nothing worth it comes easily. And we just have to remember that as corny. And as cliche as it sounds, nothing worth it really does come easily. But we are definitely wired to want to say resist it; to say this doesn't feel that kind of fight or flight tendency we have to tend to gravitate to so we want to say, no thanks. So it's really about pushing through that, accepting that, I'm going to have to get used to some change. And with that change will come a lot of growth, and a lot of discomfort, but it'll be worth it in the end.

Tiffany:
Yeah, I think that there's often and I've talked about it on the podcast a few episodes ago, when we were kind of coming up to New Year, there's always this kind of like, Oh, next year, we'll be different. And it'll be amazing. And, you know, you see these posts kind of in December, and then you see these posts kind of at the end of January, oh my goodness. 2023 is exactly the same as 23 do and oh, this is not good. And, and there's kind of in your mind, you set these things that are like, Ooh, you know, after this date, it's going to be great. And it really is a journey. And so sometimes, you know, it works out that way. And sometimes it doesn't. And I think we have to kind of trust the process and keep going, you know, if you don't like what's happening, you have to keep going. Because you know, nothing changes in exactly the spot that you are.
Christen:
Exactly, exactly. And I always like to remind people whenever I hear them say that when waiting for the right time. So it's not time yet because we both probably use that line, just an excuse. But I'm waiting for the right time. It's, you know, everything will work out when it's supposed to work. But all I have to do this, dismiss this. I'm like, you're waiting for the right time. But time isn't waiting for you. Time keeps on ticking, time keeps on doing its thing. It's not like time says oh, you're not ready yet. You should have said that. Oh, wait, I'll be here when you're ready. So as much as we want to know, put things off and wait till the right time that we have to accept that. Those really are excuses. And it's just doing one little thing, just one little thing to get you closer to you know, heading towards that horizon. Just one thing per day. That's all it takes.

Tiffany:
Yeah, it's interesting, because you do whether it's time, I think the other one for people who are leaving corporate, depending on their different salary, peace is not just time it is also money. And so you know, you're leaving financial stability. And so it's very interesting. In the online space, I really see these two distinct groups of people. And one is the people who started their business because they wanted to pay for a family vacation, they wanted to help get out of debt, they you know, and so they started something, and it turned into something massive, and they didn't necessarily start out with that plan. But they got started with this intention of like, Oh, I just want to make a little bit. And then you have this other distinct group of people who are leaving, you know, the corporate world or leaving, you know, working for someone else, or however, and they're coming with this, okay, well, I make X dollars. And now I need to replace x dollar within X number of days. And I think that that is an entirely different spot to start from because you start almost with this pressure of like, okay, well I need to like I have this financial gap that needs to be closed in a certain timeframe.

Christen:
In a certain time frame yet, and that's the thing and a certain timeframe. So even as you are adjusting to one day, hopefully soon, being a full time entrepreneur or being your own boss, you give yourself enough of that space in that time to say, Okay, well this is how much I make. This is how much I need. This is my debt to my expenses and all the other risks, financial responsibilities, and we got to get comfortable. That's the other thing too, we got to get comfortable with looking at our numbers, and all the icky stuff. For some of us, it doesn't come naturally for all of us to do that. But really getting comfortable with looking at your numbers and being able to when you set an income goal, you know, how many products or services that you need to sell in order to make a profit? And what are you supplementing in your income in order to be able to replace what you'll be leaving behind? Once you leave the stability of a nine to five, but absolutely, time and money are usually the biggest reasons slash excuses that most if not all of us, do stick around in that nine to five setting longer than I stayed five years longer than I wanted to, I really had to work up to. And then even at that point, I willed mine into, the universe had to intervene for me, because I spoke it into existence, I'm big on the law of attraction, even especially after my experience of saying, I'd really love to get laid off. I mean, awesome. I'd love to get my package, and I can do this, and I can and that's exactly what happened. But that's not the case for me. And they did offer me another position. I was like,this is my opportunity, I'm gonna have to take it, I'm gonna have to decline. But that's not necessarily the case for each person that they need to have to really make that decision. Get used to, get into the habit of doing the things that you feel like will set you up for success when you become an entrepreneur. And if money, time freedom, and then the money freedom and financial freedom are the two things well, we have to get used to better managing our time, because we're going from being in a nine to five setting where things are essentially laid out. For us. It's nine to five, right? So we're going from being able to better manage your time, and also have finances and set realistic income goals with it, too.

Tiffany:
Yeah, you know, my nine to five was never so nine to five, it was more like seven to 10 at times, which was one of the reasons I left. I have three young kids and really want to spend more time with them. But you know, even in my current role, I would say I've worked significantly more than 9 to 5.

Christen:
Right? Yeah. And I think I think that's a me problem. You know, it's like, you just it really depends on I think, well, I love my business. So what's wrong with it?

Tiffany:
And you know, I actually was talking to my husband recently. And you know, he also works too much. And so, you know, we have separate offices, and we'll text and say like, Hey, are you almost done? And it's like, you know, like 11 or 11:30? Hey, like, are we in a little bit longer, a little bit longer. And so we've been really trying to make a conscious effort to be finished a little earlier, because it's easy when you're, you know, invested in something and you're working away that you just kind of like, all of a sudden you're like, oh, no, it happens to me all the time I look up and I'm like, Oh my gosh, it's one o'clock in the morning.

Christen:
Why is it so dark out? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. But you're doing what you love too, so sometimes it doesn't even feel like work. But you know, we need to set our own boundaries for ourselves. Like we talk about boundaries, and, uh, usually external boundaries, there's internal lines as well, we got to be able to see, girl Come on, you know, you need sleep as much work. So, time to tap out.
Tiffany:
I know, it's one of those things. But it was one of the things that you know, I was like, Oh, I work less time freedom. And really, it's like, but your habits your some of your habits are established by years of, you know, doing things one way and you have to really decide, like, if something is important to you for a change, it's really taking that time to be like, Okay, I want to work less, this is the time I'm going to frame it in. You know, it's like if you have a small purse, you have a small amount of clutter. But when you have a big purse, you have a big amount of clutter, like if you don't frame it, the clutter gets bigger. And so I think the same thing happens with time as well as if you aren't actually saying I must be done by this time. You know? Yeah, then it can drag out.

Christen:
Yeah, yeah. And even like, I do my best to scheduling my breaks, you know, throughout the day, like you know, somebody will come up on my calendar like okay, right, get up and go step away from the computer for half an hour if you must, but you know, take a break because we do we need to we do all this to be more in control and then we just still give into to certain things but it's if if you enjoy it, it's hard but it's I really encourage like having those boundaries for yourself. Yeah, for you, you'll reward yourself. Self Care is super, super important. If you are not taking care of yourself, who's gonna take care of your business, right? So it comes down to Yeah, learning sometimes we think the hard way but learning that lesson as well.

Tiffany:
I think sometimes you have to be, I've spoken to a few entrepreneurs and they say everybody, you know, it's while I'm still working, but I don't want to say I'm working because I you know we're not supposed to it's time freedom and whatnot. And I think there's more people out there working, you know, the late nights and going that extra mile for their own business and I think it's an important discussion to have that it's okay to make those choices in short spurts. I always say, if you're working on a project, you're trying to close something up, wrap something up, whatever, you know, that's fine. But don't build your business based on you working 20 hours a day, because that's unsustainable.

Christen:
Yeah, I'm working tirelessly and, and also taking the time to celebrate those small wins and how far you've come. And when you set the goal, and you accomplish it, actually taking a moment to say, Okay, I did that this is awesome. Because also, we're so driven to be successful, because we've left our nine to five, we've left the stability, we've left, the predictability and all of that. So now it's like, I have to succeed, I have to do this thing, I have to set these goals, I have to accomplish. But so we don't take that moment to say, Oh, wow, like, I really accomplished that before we're on to the next thing or on to the next thing. And okay, what's next? What do I need to do now? What do I need to accomplish? Now? I got Check, check, check. Okay, item number four on the lesson, just pause, pause for a moment, celebrate and look at, because there was a time when you wanted it to be exactly where you are at that moment. So take a moment to appreciate where you are, and say I did that because I committed to so and so I focused on blah, blah, blah, I set X amount of goals, or I wanted to accomplish this thing. And I work towards it. And here I am, I should really take that moment to celebrate it. And that's when we really realize how far we've come. Because it's not until I look back. And it was like a year ago. Oh, wow. Okay, I've done a lot. I love those little moments. I've come a long way. So we might take that moment too.

Tiffany:
But you're so right, that it's easy to skip over, it's easy to skip over. And you kind of come back to that comment you made about you know, the numbers. And some, you know, a lot of people don't lean into that. And so sometimes, you know, when you're not looking at some of the numbers or some of the markers, it's easy to kind of get lost in the journey and not realize how far you've come and take those moments to celebrate. Because, you know, when you have your own business, whether it's side hustle, or you know, you've taken this full time step into entrepreneurship, or whatever that is, you know, it's not, no one else is coming to celebrate it for you. You really have to take those moments.

Christen:
Yeah, yeah, no one else is. And these are your goals. These are your accomplishments. And on the topic of no one else, when I'm speaking of goal setting tangent, but not so much. When we set goals for our businesses, what I have observed with working with my clients, I may have done this at some point early on in my business as well. We set the wrong goals. For our business, we set goals based on what someone else did in their business, or we look at someone else's accomplishments and say, Well, you know, if I do this, this dismisses that I can have accolades that this person has, and we need to be aligned with our values. And our goals need to be aligned with our values as well. And we need to acknowledge like, am I setting the right goals, these goals make sense for me? Are they aligned with my values, so that when I actually do get the results, and I'm taking the moment and pausing to celebrate and pausing to reflect, I'm actually happy with the results is not just about getting results in your business, it's about getting the right results in a business, so that you feel good, and you feel successful. And you feel like you are defining your own success by setting the right goals, you don't want to measure your success on someone else's scale, if you will, like what worked for Person A will not work for you. And that's not how it's supposed to be. But I know that some of us tend to get caught up on that success train, and wanting to be successful, and successful and success and success. So taking a moment to say what success looks like, and feel like and what does it mean, to me so I can define it my way.

Tiffany:
I've talked about it a number of times, and I feel so passionately about you know, you go online, and the loudest voices are the ones who are sharing their success, not always, you know, and not always the full picture. And I love the move away from like, if you go back to Instagram, you know, maybe a year and a bit ago, everything was so perfect. It was like the focus was on Instagram, perfect life and whatnot. And now we've gotten we've taken this turn and you know, if you like Tiktok and YouTube shorts and stuff it's all significantly more vulnerable. It's more real. But what you still have is people who are selling based on their results, they're selling, you know, not the bridge to get somewhere but they're selling this motivational destination. And so they're saying, Hey, I sold a million dollars. Now nowhere in there are they talking about what it costs them to sell that million dollars. No, where are they saying, Hey, I was profitable selling a million dollars. They're saying hey, I have a screenshot here of my Stripe account. And it shows that people paid me a million dollars. Well, that's great. That's amazing. But there's so many more pieces to that recipe. And you know, one of the things if we go back, you know, to the comma club, that's like the, you know, click funnels, comma Club Award people, you know, and less. So people are like posting these things, I think just because Click Funnels has become slightly less popular, but, you know, it's like, you've got all these people who are winning these awards, and it's like, okay, but if it cost you, you know, 999,000 to sell a million dollars, like, Is that worth celebrating? But of course, that's not the part that's always shown. And so, you know, people are like, oh, this person got started in their business, and they got this press opportunity, or they got, you know, look, they're selling all of these hundreds of 1000s of dollars, and, but there's all these things that go on behind the scenes. And so, you know, there's this comparison. And so the people who are struggling are not sharing that online, typically, I mean, a few, if you're looking in the right places, but for the most part, people don't share the struggle, they don't share the like, Oh, my goodness, I'm having second thoughts, or the, you know, oh, my goodness, I left my super stable long term, you know, paycheck to do this, and it's not working. Right. And so, you know, and so I think it's always, you know, really looking at your own and when you're saying setting, you know, defining success for you is so important.

Christen:
Hmm, I love that you brought that up, because it really does make you because I hear that a lot and with because I mean, it's so easy to compare ourselves and social media makes it even easier for us to compare ourselves and, and it's, you know, just actively being mindful of not comparing your chapter one to someone else's chapter 10. Okay, great. You made six figures, seven figures. Awesome, I am so excited for you, you will one day be there and no, just speaking to a client, for example, you will one day be there. But however they want they're not sharing, like you said, is, I made six figures, but I actually spent five or like how much ever to get to the point of making six. So how much was that? What did you actually profit with the six figures? And I know for myself that I do not shy away from sharing when things are hard. And I'm always the one of the first to say, Listen, entrepreneurship is hard. It is not for the faint at heart. It is not. I mean, yes, the hard work does pay off, and you will feel rewarded. And sometimes a lot of times people, when they're leaving their nine to five, that's one of the things they crave. They want to be rewarded for their hard work. But there are times in entrepreneurship, yes, we do get rewarded for hard work. But it takes a lot of work to get there. A lot of times, things are things that will not work, the things that will not make sense, we our businesses will evolve, we will evolve with our businesses, what you wanted to do in year one will not make sense in year three, and that's okay. What was important to you in year one may not necessarily be important for you in year three, and that's okay. But really being able to take the downs with the UPS. And I find that especially on social media, entrepreneurship is glorified as this thing. It's so incredible. It's so amazing. You should be an entrepreneur, not everybody wants to be an entrepreneur, and everybody wants to be a full time entrepreneur. So it's really again, coming back to what do I want out of this? Like, why am I putting myself through this? And going on this journey and going through this experience? And where do I see myself in a year, three years, five years, to be able to really define our success. Because at the end of the day, like when you lay your head down on the pillow at night, and you're reflecting like, do things make sense for you? When you're looking back at an exercise I really enjoy, what I work on setting goal setting is picture yourself. It's 11pm on December 31, and you're reflecting on the year, how did that year go? How did your goals go? How are you feeling? I feel those are the important things to to make it a part of your journey and to personalize or customize your entrepreneurial experience, if you will.

Tiffany:
Absolutely. It's one of the you know, I do a lot of strategy sessions and work and it's, you know, where do you want this to go? Because, you know, everyone does have a different vision of you know, and some people it's very interesting, because you get these people who are coming into the entrepreneurship space, and they have this idea of what they want to do. But they really need the steps in order to get to that to get it going. And you know, I always talked about it's kind of like a snowball like you have to get it going and get some momentum and whatnot. And so it really is that let's decide what direction we want to push the snowball in. And then let's push because, you know, I have some people I've worked with that say, I want to make X dollars and work the least amount possible in order to do that. They don't want to make more than X dollars, they want to make X dollars, but they don't want to work very much. And then you have other people that are like I want to take over the world, I want this to go global, I want this to be massive, I want everything to be a household name, I want this to be giant. And so these are two different people. But if you just say like, you know, oh, we want to get success, and you don't have that conversation of what does success look like? Well, that's too varied. Both of those people think that is success. But there's so different that without that discussion, you know, you can't really offer any true advice or any strategy or any steps, because it's like, we need to first establish where are we going?

Christen:
Yeah, where are you going? What do you want out of it? Why do you want it? What do you want? I think one of the important things is what do you want people to know about you? Like, when you picture your best, your VIP customer or client leaving you a five star review? Like, what are they saying about you in this review? And are they saying what you hoped other people know about you, the things that you hope they know about you, where you really showing up in your business and for your business? How do you want to show up for your business, so you can define your success and feel successful when you're getting those five star reviews and as VIP clients or customers? Yeah.

Tiffany:
Yes, that kind of also makes me think one of the other questions when people usually at the idea stage is, you know, discussing kind of what are the hard nose? Because some people say like, I don't want to do any video. They don't do videos of themselves. And it's okay. Do we just not know about it yet? And we're willing to learn or is this a hard No? Because there are certain businesses, people come and say, like, Hey, I have this idea. And they're like, but I don't want to do this. And I don't want to do that. And this and this. And this. And I think that is a tough road without those things. Yeah, you know, it's like, there's certain things and I remember actually having a conversation with someone very early on in their business. And same thing, she's like, No, I don't want to be the face, I don't want to have, I just want to be in the background. And as she went on, and we went through, she actually was part of our year long mentorship program, she, you know, was really realizing, hey, like, this is making this a lot harder. And I said, you know, I know this is a hard line for you. But this would make such a difference in your business. Because your business started from your story, it's very linked to your story. It’s you know, you are part of what's going on here. And so in the end, she has really shifted and is making a solid effort to try and do new things and learn and really, you know, it's like anyone who's on Tiktok, or doing YouTube shorts, or reels or whatever. None of those people started with experience, they might have more experience now. But you know, nobody started with experience doing this. And so the willingness to try and show up for your business, and really decide, you know, it comes back to that being uncomfortable. And, you know, how many extra layers of difficulty Are you going to add by kind of adding in these like, Oh, I'm not willing to do that, or I'm not going to try that? Or, you know, entrepreneurship really does require an open mind. Because, you know, it's, you're all in on whatever you're working on.

Christen:
Right, Right. And like you said, at the very beginning of a convo it's also about, like trusting the process. And when people you know, once you're willing to try, you're doing right, you're taking something you're trying it but you're you are actually doing the thing. So with trying, it might not necessarily work out how you wanted it to work, or maybe you don't even know how it's gonna work. Or maybe you see A and then you're looking at Z and you're thinking, Okay, well, this is where I want it to be. I'm not sure of how it's gonna all work out. But you're trying. And I think that we have to also take a moment to say, I'm not just trying, I'm doing, I'm doing this thing. And however it goes, whatever is it I don't look at failure as failure. There are lessons and a lot because otherwise, in entrepreneurship is all about failure. It's a whole bunch of lessons. And a lot of lessons and I think that's the beautiful thing about entrepreneurship is you learn so much about yourself first and foremost, you learn so much about yourself. You learn so much about like your capabilities, you learn so much about the things that you weren't really given the opportunity to learn about if you were in a nine to five setting I've heard and I remember feeling like this people describe it as feeling like they're being placed in a box and they're not really able to explore really tap into their creativity. So now here you are, you are able to do these things you're trying and you're doing and it's whatever you make of it is what will come of it. And whatever you take away from it a lot of times yes. I don't even know how many times I have just said, I've just got to surrender. I've got to surrender to this process. I have done what I can. I'm doing my best. I planned it out, I carried out whatever steps it's unfolding, how it needs to unfold, how it's meant to unfold and, and just breathing through it to just trust the process. But know that when you are trying you are doing and you can learn so much about yourself. If something doesn't work, don't don't do it again, or try something different or sit back and really reflect on why it didn't work? Why did I want it to work? How can it work? Take it as an opportunity to it's always that teaching moment, it was an opportunity to learn. You just keep going. You just keep going.

Tiffany:
Just keep going. Yes, yeah, yes, it comes back to that if it's not working where you are, you have to keep going. It doesn't matter if you're going to change your path a little bit or whatever. But you know, just staying stationary and being like, well, this is not working. I'm uncomfortable, this is not good. But not continuing that forward motion, you have to keep that snowball moving. Because every time you stop, you know, I was talking to someone recently, and she got her business, her business is very successful. And then she had some health stuff. And then she kind of got her business going again. And then she had some family stuff. And then she kind of got her business going. And she said, Oh, it's like restarting again. And I said yes, but you have all of this back, you know, you have this you know all these different things that are going for you already you have people they know who you are, you have an email list, you have the Facebook community, you have all your like, just start, just keep going. Because you know, you've got some assurance right now it feels like starting over. And that's frustrating. But you know, you just got to get it rolling again, get that snowball rolling again. And, you know she was discouraged at first because she's like, you know, I used to be this or it was that. But you know, when she got it, you know, she really dove in for about three weeks and really was met with like, oh, this wasn't working. And then sure enough, you know, things start to get going again and nationally, well on our way back back to you know what she used to have, which is it's frustrating to get going again, but you know, that's life. And in the entrepreneurship journey, when you are your business, things do come up. Health, family, you know, change your plans, this or that. And so it really is that just keep going,

Christen:
Just keep going. And then even with starting it's and starting over or forward, I hear false starts because you know, you start something it didn't quite work, at least you're starting. Again, going back to doing and trying, right? At least you started. You made a decision and you're following through on something. And starting doesn't have to be anything grand. Starting doesn't have to be all my ducks in a row. I have all this many products and this many services and how many ever clients blah, blah, blah, starting to just be making the decision, sending an email, contacting someone just doing something that had happened again, taking you in as we're wrapping up, taking you in the direction of that horizon. That's just one step. I talk a lot about like, the zero to 100 mentality where it's like, oh my god, I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta I gotta, I gotta. And he's setting all these goals and your mindset zero, you're at zero and your mind at 100. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Come meet me back at step one, please. Let's go through step one, then two, all the way to 99 You're ahead of yourself. What can you do now? What goals can you set now? What can you work on right now that realistically fits into your life and your lifestyle? And as long as you start? You're doing something? That's what matters.

Tiffany:
That's right. Yeah, that's right. So one tangible tip that someone could implement in their life. Today, that's going to help them with that quick win?

Christen:
Okay, so speaking of the overwhelm of setting goals, I always encourage people, when you set a goal and you have a desired outcome to reverse engineer, so you have created this ideal outcome. But asking yourself, What did I do to get to that step reverse engineer, so you have your big goal for the year, break that down into quarters, break that into each quarter, you break that down monthly each month, you break that down weekly each week, you break that down daily, so even with a week, even if it's one task a day, one thing a day, know that it is contributing to the big goal, reverse engineer asking yourself if I want to get there, what do I need to do today? To get to the end and not stay stuck on the end? And what can you realistically work on today? Yeah, cool. Just one thing?

Tiffany:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And CJ, where can people connect with you? What is the name of your podcast? I'll drop the link in the show notes. But tell us a little more. Where can people connect with you and keep working?

Christen:
I am on all social media. We're not all but you can find me on social media platforms at Christen and James. My podcast is called The Shine To Five Method. For side hustlers, Shine To Five method is my coaching system and anything shine to five is all CJ but connect me @Christen N James, ChristenNjames.com and we can take the conversation from there.

Tiffany:
Awesome. Well thank you so much. It's been such a pleasure having you. I've had so much fun chatting with you. Thank you for having me today. Well, we are all out of time for today. If you guys have not joined The Surface Based Business society Facebook community make sure you head on over to Facebook and we can continue the conversation be sure to also follow the show by going to any podcast app and searching surface based business society click subscribe click the fifth star and leave us a written review Have a great week and we will see you soon.